In the name of our ancestors, we pray. By M. O. Ené, Ph.D.

For a change, 9-11 stepped aside for 1-27. Both the obsolete and allegedly dangerously decrepit armoury of Ikeja Cantonment and its environment have since become our very own "Ground Zero". For all we know, the morale and combat capacity of the officers and men of the 9^th Motorised Brigade, Ikeja, may have been blown sky high to smithereens and decimated in toto, after all those tremendous explosions, detonations, deflagrations and shock waves that originated from that cantonment, in the early evening of Sunday, January 27, 2002. It is therefore safe to conclude that the events of 1-27 may have rendered the military formation that we all now know as Ikeja Cantonment, technically defunct, dead and buried, and therefore of no further consequence, or meaningful utility to both the tactical and strategic military needs of Nigeria. In other words, we may all be living witnesses to an unfolding process of the final physical and psychic dismemberment of that famous pepper soup joint; that refuge of many disillusioned and homeless ex-Service men, and the residence of serving officers and men and their dependants; and the fortress of fleeing victims during sporadic civil unrests and ethnic cleansing, in Lagos: Good old Ikeja Cantonment.

Òbásánjó turn-i vocalist, Yar’Adua, Road-i Manager.

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

In the course of the evolution of Nigerian military politics, certain structures, institutions, individuals, and tendencies have attained the status of icons of our national military mythology. According to an unexpurgated version of our local military folklore that freely circulates in various njàkiri (comedy) and "‘tory blowing" circles at "water-sides", "motor-parks", and most bùrùkùtù and ògógóró centres scattered all over Nigeria, the innuendo exists that Ikeja Cantonment, Bonny Camp, Dodan Barracks, Bori Camp, the Armoured Corps, and the Signals Corps of the Nigerian Army, all have two things in common: The availability of world-class pepper soup in their búkâs, and a coup plotting propensity! Indeed, the Ikeja cantonment of the 9^th Motorised Brigade, of the Lagos Garrison, of the Nigerian Army is one of our national icons of military prowess. Sadly today, it is virtually in complete shambles.

Think back. Make a quick mental rewind, and scan your memory for all those "Who was Who" and the "Who is Who" of Nigeria in all these years, since 1966, and you will definitely discover an impressive line-up of mega-tycoons, elder and "youth-corper" statesmen, former and serving Heads of State, former Chiefs of Staff of the defunct SMC, GHQ, and Army, former members of the defunct SMC, AFRC, and PRC, former ECOMOG Commanders, serving members of the Legislature, former soldiers but now, full time traditional monarchs, former State Governors, ministers, ambassadors, captains of industry, present and past leaders of ethnic and/or religious lobbies, former presidential aspirants, active and passive big-time mechanised farmers, chairmen/owners of banks, shipping lines, air lines and virtual oil companies, owners of the very crème de la crème of the choicest of choice property in Abuja, Benin, Cairo, Dubai, Gboko, Johannesburg, Langtang, Victoria Island, Jos, London, Kano, Paris, Port Harcourt Garden City, Atlanta, Nguru, Rio de Janeiro, Kaduna, Geneva, Minna, Òtà, Odogbolu, Los Angeles, Zurich and anywhere else imaginable. Most of those "who were who" and "who are who", those same "well-breaded", essential commodities of high-society functions, those same illustrious sons of Africa, Nigeria and their respective villages, are essentially the same gang of the alumni and/or former Commanders of Dodan Barracks, Ikeja Cantonment, Bonny Camp, Bori Camp, the Armoured Corps and the Signals Corps of the Nigerian Army!

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

Ever since Major Íféájùnà, and later, Lt. Colonel Gòwõñ decided to use Dodan Barracks for the effective co-ordination of coup d’état operations, subsequent generations of equally patriotic soldiers of the Nigerian Army have also had their own equally brilliant ideas on where to pick as their assembly point for the conceptual and detailed tactical design, logistics co-ordination, and D-Day-H-hour operations and manoeuvres in coups d’état: real, imagined, phantom, denied, confessed or otherwise.

Ikeja Cantonment, Bonny Camp and Dodan Barracks are, by Nigerian standards, Class-A combat outfits. All of these three brigades are within the cosmopolis of Lagos, and have, at one time or the other, been the hatchery, cradle, nursery, hot bed, orientation camp, and favourite pepper soup joint of all manner of loyalists, mutineers, dissidents-against-their-Commanders-in-Chief, and the post-coup d’état rendezvous for top-level briefings and barracks-style elections. The commanders of these military formations, and their Commanders-in-Chief, have consistently been the most high-profile and vocal among their peers, ever since 1966. Most of them subsequently scaled through their careers, bagging accelerated promotions, political appointments, business patronage, and of course, top national honours (CFR; GCON; GCFR). They have always peddled their clout, and tampered with policies at the highest levels of decision-making in Nigeria, in or out of office; in or out of active service. Who knows? Maybe, they were born to rule, chop life and gyrate to shégè, lái-lái, àtï lái-lái: God children.

Them set up enquiry. Them say money no lost-i-O! Them dabaru everybody: Supervisor, Òbásánjó.

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

Their various Excellencies, Honourables, trusted ADCs and Aides (abi na AIDS?), Security details, "usually reliable sources", party faithfuls, brown-envelope co-ordinators, gossip engineers of our local rumour factories, high-profile sycophants, official praise-singers, and other drunkards and diners in the verandas of megalomania, had already taken the initiative and liberty to confirm that the Government of the people of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, duly presided over "commander-in-chief"ly by General (Chief) Olusegun Òbásánjó (OBJ; FNSE; GCFR; fss; pss), had been brutally and swiftly extinguished. We were "very reliably" informed, via GSM, that Aso Rock had been sealed off, while the rest of Abuja had been thoroughly pulverized. Hours before Lagosians were enlightened about the dynamics of a final Armageddon that was playing itself out in their very before, over 99.999% of all GSM handsets in the Federal Republic of Nigeria had already registered, right into the ear holes of their lucky owners, the electromagnetic signals of a viral message of a bloody coup d’état in Nigeria. GSM good-o-o-o-O! Apparently, the government’s information managers were caught unawares, maybe, because of their overindulgence in frivolity, evaluating the performance of State Governors, while remaining oblivious of their primary task of providing timely information for Nigerians.

The mind quivers at the mere thought of the likely consequences and impacts of a scenario, in which all three brigades at Obalande (Dodan Barracks), Victoria Island (Bonny Camp), and Ikeja (Cantonment) are hit either synchronously or simultaneously by home-grown or foreign-based terrorists (or both), for whatever reasons. Impossible? Weird? Crazy? Well, so too, did Americans think about what happened to them in New York and Washington, before 9-11.

Election story, nko? Òbásánjó plan am very well ….

Òbásánjó carry all of them. All of them dey there now-o-o-O!

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

Just like Tuesday, September 11, 2001, became both a milestone in the history of the world and of the United States of America, Sunday, January 27, 2002, must be Nigeria’s point of reality check, mindset repositioning and change of gears, given its profound psychological impact, and the unfolding political collateral damage it has induced. Indeed, 9-11 allowed the US of A to quickly come to terms with several previously nagging, yet unresolved, issues that affected the meaningful survival of that country. September 11, 2001, provided an opportunity for a radical paradigm shift for the US of A, and the rest of the world. Terrorism suddenly became globalised in terms of scope, funding, diplomatic linkages, organisational format, nuisance value, and means of resolution.

Me, Fela, I challenge Òbásánjó, Na wayo ‘e dey, all the time.

Make ‘e carry me go any court, I go open book for am. Na wayo government we dey-o, égbà mi-O!

Na rigimo government we dey-o, Ye-e-e-e paripa-O! Na paddy-paddy government we dey, égbà mi-O!"

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

The first ever police strike in Nigeria began in Cross River State, on Thursday, January 31, 2002. Police walked off the job in Lagos as well as in Ibadan and in Warri. "Inspector-General go soon return from ‘im overseas leave. (Lucky poorly paid policeman!) He should be back soon", said a PRO, on behalf of his I-G. "When the strike been begin, we no been take them serious. We been think say them head no correct. Why? Because police no suppose to join union. Na so we been dey think-o." Police throughout Nigeria, threatened to go on strike, demanding prompt salary payment, rent allowance arrears, barracks refurbishment and better pay. And they did it. Egunjé done dry, brother mi! Ordinary check point sef done kpafuka. Since May 29, 1999, rising crime has overwhelmed the Nigerian Police Force, compelling some states to set up local vigilante groups. Over the past year, several dozens of police officers have been convicted of armed robbery, or for aiding criminals. So, therefore, now wey Òlópã been strike, armed robbery been reduce, or, ‘e been increase?

Some kind strong-head soldiermen for Ikeja Cantonment no been ‘gree Vice-President Atiku Abubakar (GCON) make ‘e make address for them, when ‘e been go there, to tell them, "O mà sé o. Àsìyâ", for condolence, ‘im been cover ‘im nose, so that the yèyé smell of dead-body no go worry am too much. Unfortunately, his convoy was pelted and forced to retreat. Now, big-men no dey ‘gree go see them again for Ikeja Cantonment. Now, instead, them dey go visit Governor, tell am, "O mà sé-o, E ku ‘sé, Your Excellency, Senator-Governor, OC Security for Eko, the Centre of Excellence. Make you sorry. You hear?" The way them been dey condolence am, as if bom’ been fall on top Government House.

Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti

Some senior officers even told Reuters that emergency aid for soldiers and other victims, was so poorly organised, they even had to beg their civilian friends for donations to help their Subordinates-in-Need. Wow! ‘E be like say somebody done dey start begin to chopulate even donation. See me, see Trouble. Some officers, dismissing an inquiry ordered by their C-in-C, with brazen impudence, revealed to the world that several other military barracks were equally at risk nationwide. The commander for that Ikeja Cantonment been tell Lagos people for television that day, say, "My Fellow country people. I want to tell you a story (No be story-o.) Make I tell una something. This one not to coup-o. Na small mistake" It appears like Abuja ignored his earlier demands to address the problem of his dilapidated armoury. If you fit remember, last year sef, some Army pensioners been demonstrate say, since when government stop to pay them pension, ‘e done ’tay. One old soldier died while waiting in the queue.

The US of A has struck a multi-billion naira military aid deal with the FG of N. It includes training and reform packages for our armed forces. Lagosians dey grumble, dey vex say, "Where wey them been dey, all those "trained by American-trained" security, when we been dey panic, dey run anyhow for Lagos? Them been help us? Definitely, this lapse has seriously diminished what little faith Lagosians may have had in the system. If ‘e been be OPC, or Bakassi Guys (BGs), or Supreme Égbèsù Assembly (SEA), them for organise well-well, pass all this them American-trained people, for that kind kàtàkátá. Instead, na we and them been dey run anyhow, dey fear, dey jump inside canal that day-o.

Even sef last year, when Ósísíómá Ibe La-Dim ‘im people them been take Okada, jam ile gogoro for New York, jam bunker wey them oga pátápátá for army, navy and air force for America dey take think deep-deep think before them find trouble or fight war, I think all policemen, firemen, ambulance-men, doctor-men, nurse-girl, exeter-exeter, them been just dey run go, make them try help anybody for "Ground Zero" for yonder. Many of them been die sef. People hail them. Oga President Bush, nko? Him been go there, hug firemen, kiss small pikins, kiss big women, shake-hand policemen, come pray well-well for church, visit "Ground Zero", tell them, "Una try. E ku ‘se-o. Make una no fear. Make una manage small-small. We go show those Alika Ada boys say, them be jew, and we be guy. I say, by the time wey we go finish with them, them go know say, na my papa join my mama, born me." All the time wey President Bush (Kekere) been dey for "Ground Zero", ‘im no wear ékpó mask-o. ‘Im no tell labourer make ‘e "Shut up!!" Commander-in-chief (Áãré) Báshôrün President George Bush (Kekere). Papa pikin. Governor brother. I beg, jõ you dey kámpé! ‘E just dey command-in-chiefly. Na you, bikó! You dey, like you no dey! May God give you the fortitude to bear the irremediable loss of 9-11.

Observe that the American President called off all external engagements for a very long while after the events of 9-11. Instead, various world leaders, including Chief (General) Olusegun Òbásánjó (GCFR), had to go to Washington DC to console the American President. As my barber friend rationalised and ranted, rather blasphemously, "This foreign core investors them, them want put san’-san’ for ÕBJ àmàlà. For my village of origin, if we see say you dey walka-walka too much, we go ask you if you chop dog leg. Honestly, ‘e be like say this man don chop eagle wing, Ókpái nà Ókùró-O!" Where again wey man go fit see better ísí éwu pepper soup for Lagos, after the colossal tragedy of Sunday, January 27, 2002?

Given the stark realities of the after-shocks of 1-27, it is unavoidable that we seriously consider in our post-hoc evaluations, the possibility of a nightmare scenario vis-à-vis the damage potential of further breeches of safety and security, posed by the indeterminate number of equally deadly (legal and illegal) ammunition depots, scattered all across Nigeria.

In the name of our ancestors, we pray. By M. O. Ené, Ph.D.