Celebrating The Dividends Of Democracy

May 29! It’s a date Nigerians will never forget even when the lost paradise is restored, and the land starts flowing with milk and honey! For on that date, all Nigerians, living and dead, bought the shares of democracy from the independent Nigerian stock exchange. I remember May 29, 1999 very clearly. That day, I watched General Abdulsalami Abubakar happily hand over the rein of leadership to President Olusegun Obasanjo who then promised to tackle the gamut of myriad problems left by 15 beautiful years of irresponsible military rule!

Of course, even the angels in heaven rejoiced, particularly for God’s children who had been left off the hook of our army brothers. At that time, the naira was fighting so miserably with the dollar 85 times per day. Two years on, the naira has inched up the wrestling scoreboard, gallantly fighting the dollar 140 times in a day. As we can see, businessmen are smiling to the bank because it is cheaper to export than to import toothpicks, toilet paper, and apples. At the port, all the levies, all the excise duties are there, yet democracy has made it possible for us to do just anything we wish to do! As for the customs men charged with the responsibility of manually checking all imported items, they are reaping the dividends of democracy by efficiently discharging their duties and causing a massive pile up of goods at the port. God bless democracy!

Also, democracy has made it possible for ships arriving at the Apapa and Tin Can ports to discharge cargo elsewhere — Cotonou, Lome — and returning to base. We must learn to bear with the pains of democracy.

All the states obeyed the federal mighty government this time around and observed democracy day. Last year, there was a mischievous conflict over the mysterious June 12 and the Abubakar May 29. In fact, in some states, June 12 won the battle. But perhaps I was slightly deaf during the last celebrations. What happened to the memory of Chief M.K.O. Abiola, the man whose principled stand against the Abacha terror-machine made May 29 possible? Has he been immortalised? I thought his was a posthumous honour – G.C.F.R? No? I also thought that some of his moments would be revived. I looked at the stables. And National Concord has gone with its founder! Honouring the dead?

I have it on good authority that Nigerians would celebrate with the devil himself if he descended anywhere in Nigeria to mark his expulsion from heaven. Certainly, there will be contractors to handle his posters (designer posters), his T.V. appearances, big-time caterers would take the menu contract and supply food. Of course, he would get an articulate former minister of information to arrange and address a world press conference! The average Nigerian would tell you: if you do not take up the contract, the next man would. It could even be taken up by your pastor!

Dividends of Democracy! I was indeed happy listening to our eloquent and infectious Minister of Information and National Orientation tell Nigerians to their face that whatever we say, particularly the over-zealous media, Nigerians are already enjoying the benefits of democracy. Legerdemain! Certainly not! For our minister is an honourable man. Most Nigerians have sight defect and so are unable to read the writing of profit on the wall of hunger and inflation. As for me, I use glasses. During my next visit to the optician, I will ask for a pair of bi-focals to be able to see the NEPA. I will also ask God for a new heart to be able to feel the little drops of democracy which the government celebrated.

Although, I did not answer her when my mother asked whether the price of garri would come down on democracy day, I actually wondered what business garri had with democracy. They don’t sound alike. In fact, garri does not even exist in the greatest home of democracy, America. So why should any state government or the Federal Government for that matter announce on May 29 that certain practical steps had been taken to bring down the price of garri from the roof top.

Nigerians should be grateful that they indeed have the freedom to choose between eba and fufu. It is one of the dividends of democracy. Nigerians should be grateful that some of us made money from the celebrations. It is a dividend of democracy. Nigerians should rejoice that petrol queues have permanently disappeared. It is a dividend of democracy. Nigerians should rejoice that states can now call for re-negotiation of the federation. It is a dividend of democracy. Nigerians should rejoice that the presidency has remained adamant on the issue. It is the beauty of democracy. Nigerians can rejoice that inflation has been brought under control. O! democracy, may we forever harbour you!

Celebrations are a part of life; they give meaning, and serve as reminder of milestones. But I’m yet to see a man who has a terminal disease celebrate an additional day. He may thank the creator for yet another, but he certainly would not be vulgar about it. In some states, mouth-watering amounts were spent to mark May 29. A cynical friend of mine who works with one of the state governments summarised it thus: “it was just another contract opportunity for our ogas.” The dividends of democracy are indeed multifarious.