Clash of two Titans: African culture vs. US laws

There are little things in our every day lives that we often take for granted. Some of these little things are intangible, or should we say, performed as part of normal daily activity without paying much attention to them. For instance, in Africa, we tend to eat three times in a day. This is required as part of our cultural norm. Whereas in America, people tend to eat food as much as four to six times per day. There are normal three square meals followed by snakes. Back home, any attempt to snack is regarded as prelude to theft or much bigger phenomena.

There are other things that save lives in Africa or change the course of lives which we regard as a norm. For instance, it is normal to punish a child, especially a wayward child that has chosen perilous part rather than that of virtue. It is normal to spank a child without intent to maim or cause serious bodily harm. In Africa, it is normal to instill fear on a child since such would act as a catalyst to preventing future misbehaviors. There are things done in Africa that in one way or the other, saved lives of millions of children in the process stirring them towards a rewarding life of adulthood.

There are thousands of stories among Africans who would bear testimony to this life saving account in the lives of ordinary Africans. As the first generation of Africans settle in their various domicile abroad, they have began to experience all kinds of cultural and legal shock – a clash between two cultures.

Here is how it goes in a typical African environment. Parents, Teachers, or any one in a position of authority and / or seniority has a duty to correct any child that engages in a bad behavior. In African culture, a child is said to be not just the product of their parent, but also of the entire community. The success or failure of any child was always looked upon as a collective shame or achievement of the community that gave life to him. This in part has so much to do with the extended family structure in the African society.

The right to punish a bad child is paramount to the good of all. It is important to mention that punishing a child does not mean beating up or maiming. Punishment of a child is a means to an end. It purposes is to stop a perceived bad behavior or to act as a deterrent to such.

In most of the advanced societies, capital punishment or minor disciplinary action toward a mischievous child is strictly prohibited. In some instances, the child would be removed from a home, a loving home and placed in the home of strangers known as foster homes of which the foster parents may not have any vital interest in the well being of the child save for the immediate financial benefit that goes with acting as a conduit for bouncing of the child from one home to another.

In some instances pertaining to recent African immigrants, an over zealous social worker would go to the extreme. Whatever the reason for the extremism exacerbates the debate on the clash of two titans – balancing of African culture against US or western laws. As a saying goes - when two elephants fight, the grass would suffer. The grass in this case is the child and the issue that the precipitated the whole chain of removal from the natural parent’s home in the first place is therefore lost, thus to the detriment of the child.

There is no book known to man that can be 100 percent accurate in providing guidance on how to raise a child. Every child raring is unique. Parents ideas about raising children is drawn from the experiences observed from childhood from their parents and neighbors. As children who will be future parents grow, they tend to apply those experiences and values that were successfully applied towards their own upbringing and that of their neighbors. This writer can recall a comment from a friend in America who is married and does not want to have a child. His rational for not doing so was that he had an unstable and rough childhood where the father figure was missing. This is a classic example of individualistic phenomena in child raring. Contrast that to Africa where everyone within a close proximity of the child’s house contributes to their upbringing.

The clash of two cultures thus becomes one of the most single culture shock affecting the recent African immigrants in the Diaspora. These Africans believe in the old school where a parent dictates the rule of the game in their household. They use every available carrot to advance the wellness of their children. Whatever they do, the goal is not to harm, but to correct deficiencies. In some cases, in the attempt to help the child, these parents encounter the wrath of the laws within their environment.

Furthermore, in this country, children were taught at school to call Emergency number when they perceived injustice. They are taught the meaning to individual rights. They are told to stand up for their rights at all times and to report infringements to those rights.

There was a story of a father in the 1980s whose child threatened to call police when his father tried to punish him for bad behavior. In this respect, the school teaches the child a new value prevalent to the society, a clash against the parent’s value learned over the years as they were passed on from generation to generation. One of such values is that a child must not point a finger to his father regardless of what the father did. A child must be respectful, obedient and submissive to the wisdom of his or her parents - like it was stated in the Holy Bible paraphrase: no parent will give their child a snake when they ask for fish.

Those who cannot handle the cultural / legal clash chose an escape route by sending their child or children to their homeland. This is extreme and costly. The benefit is that the children would undergo the same process in upbringing that enabled their parents to be a better citizen. The cost is that the parent and child / children will be denied the opportunity to grow together as a family living in a single household.

Finally, the African immigrants in the Diaspora are in a dilemma. They must walk a fine line as they try to blend and adjust to the culture and values of their host or adopted nations. This attempt to adjust has often proven to be very difficult as the old cliché says – one cannot teach an old dog a new trick.

November 2003