Farouk for President [6]

By

Orok Edem

Dear Nigerians, there would be consequences. How can a nation like Nigeria be ruled by a man who has the ‘rare ability to scheme both fair and foul with equal celerity’? Since when did we become so mendicant that we start blaming our creditors for our own problems? I say there would be repercussions. There is no where on earth in which capitalism is practiced in a state of chaos. Why is this government so obsessed with prostitutes and other inanities? The other day, Aremu the great, was on hand to receive a batch repatriated from Italy. If he is not receiving prostitutes, he is giving orders for planes to be bought or money to be paid to the football team. What a way to run a government? How can we run a country where law makers and law breakers have the same status under the law? I repeat, there would be consequences.

My fellow country men and women, there would be consequences and repercussions if my candidacy is schemed out. There is no amount of juggling of the Electoral Act that would keep me from contesting and winning the next presidential elections. As you all know, we now have a Christian Pastor and a Muslim Ulama speaking with one voice. I implore you to join me in thanking the Almighty Allah for the blessings he bestows on us and beg him for peace in our land. Ulama Ningi has also confirmed the prophecy of Pastor Bakare. Based on this, let me assure my supporters that my ancestors migrated originally from Adamawa to the present Cross River. The rest, I leave for posterity to judge.

Fellow Nigerians, there is a grand conspiracy afoot to rig the 2003 elections, the likes of which we have never heard or seen in our land. What has the capitalist PDP of Nigeria got to do with the Chinese Communist Party with whom they have recently signed a Memorandum of Understanding? Answer: The Eboes in China!

Sometime ago the Oyi [have you noticed how he has aged more than Zeek was at 75?] was asked, why the Eboes are not taking part in the privatization process. He dismissed the idea of ignorance. Saying ‘There are Eboes in China engaged in trading and speaking Chinese’. Everybody thought he was just mouthing off and dismissed the statement. Recently, Dubem Onyia has signed an MOU with the Chinese. How do these two innocuous actions add up? Remember the Yankees waiting for the military votes to come in during their last election? In 2003, we would be waiting for the Diaspora vote to come in and all the Eboes in China, Hong Kong, the whole of south east Asia, RUMORED to be over 15 million strong and of voting age would vote PDP. This, coupled with the votes of the Yarribas in Brazil and the Efiks in Cuba would tip the scale in favor of the PDP. When the PDP comes up on the eve of the election to permit Nigerians in the Diaspora to vote, do not rejoice. Do not say, I did not warn you. Fellow Nigerians, if we do not stand up and ask the hard questions now, there would be repercussions. We want to know why PDP a capitalist party has an agreement with the Chinese Communist Party. Eboes in China! Chineke, No wonder Kalu Orji is running scared.

Just for the record, our campaign is built on what we would do when we get into power, therefore, we would visit the health sector next and sort out some misunderstandings over ASUU later.

My people, you would agree with me that wealth is health. And even if you don’t, ask yourself, what exactly is Bill Gates’s father and Jimmy Carter doing junketing around Africa? Yes I know, they said, it is because of AIDS. Has guinea worm been eradicated? What about malaria? Why does their journey take them only to South Africa and Nigeria? The two countries with enough credit worthiness to buy drugs from Western companies. I know they are moved by the human spirit, but could somebody tell me whether Akinola Aguda when moving the capital from Lagos to Abuja did make allowance for a prostitute colony? Messer’s Carter and Gates where escorted to an ashawo colony in Abuja by a government official. Did this government official get paid out of government purse for performing this onerous duty? Dan buruba. No wonder we cannot pay our debts.

It is not necessary for us to ask how the government knew about the existence of such a colony, I believe that is what we pay the SSS for. Just bear in mind, that both of these men could be regarded as wealthy men and therefore healthy. Fast forward to the recent Miss Nigeria contest. Who showed up? Okoya Thomas and Sunny Odogwu. What do all these four men have in common. Old age and abundant wealth. What is their favorite past time? Looking at nubile young women. D***y old men. [D***y stands for DANDY] My people, at the rate these guys are going we might have to rethink our Viagra policy. Now you see why I am offering Nigerians maximum wage so as to attain good health.

The Nigerian health situation would not improve if we do not have enough good statistics to plan. The present scheme by Aremu the great’s government is a ploy to embezzle money. How could you start a National Health Scheme, when you do not know the number of people you are planning for? Was it part of the PDP’s manifesto? Who is going to pay for it? The healthcare of Nigerians would not improve if the dispensing of medicines is left in the hands of charlatans. It would not improve when we have more faith in native doctors and make me rich churches. It would not improve if we cannot pay university teachers and sponsor research. It would not improve when we apply ‘pay as you fly’ mentality to data acquisition. Get me adequate statistical data and I would make thee well. Without that, fellow country people, let us make you rich. Remember wealth is health.

I tell you. There would be consequences if Aremu the great, contest and wins the next presidential elections.

My fellow country men and women. Just when we thought we had calmed them down, these middle age actors keep popping up like bad pennies. Bode ‘Boy’ George and Rimi, the handsome dude.

Boy George wants the Yarribas to abandon Afenifere and imbibe his ‘turn by turn’ message. Would you buy a used car from Boy George? I pity the Yarribas. That Keyamo twin who took out Ige, knew what he was doing. They are in a dilemma and 2003 would be the greatest test of their avowed ‘principle’. I keep asking this question for posterity’s sake. When the Yarribas stay at Aso for another 4 years. Would they wait 40 years for others to take their turn? I predict that the answer to that question would be found in the voting pattern of the Yarribas in 2003. If they vote for Aremu instead of me, the Yarribas would have unwittingly signed on to that agreement. Action speaks louder than words. Whom would you rather follow, a fickle Boy George or bullet proof Adesanya?

Rimi, the dude. I have stated once that Rimi is too handsome to be president. With his latest gaffe of being sponsored by Ibro. [Note, only the Afenifere people call him IBB] This man is also becoming dangerous. For record purposes, I knew Ibro since he was a Captain, and we used to hang out at Hamdala Hotel, Azeez the then night manager is my witness. So I knew Ibro before Rimi. Ibro is not sponsoring me but has hinted to me that I am his Option Three. That is, if the tussle gets too hot between the Gambaris and Yarribas, I just might get it by default. He did though ask me to think about using Rimi as the VP. I told him I would keep it in mind, but the Shamgar group wanted to have a say in that. Now, Rimi after asking for the present government to be overthrown, is going around saying he is sponsored by Ibro. Is he trying to get Ibro into trouble or he wants a showdown with Aremu? Too early for that, dude. Stop toying with the boys in khaki and be careful of what you ask for, or you just might get it.

Recently, the army boys have been heard to grumble. Over what? Mainly furniture allowance. When did the rank and file of the Nigeria armed forces get so comfortable as to demand for furniture allowance of between 30 – 50,000.00 naira annually. Now, I understand why Gani Adams of OPC [One] is a carpenter! There must be brisk business, if all the echelons of the Nigerian government are entitled, and do receive these various sums for furniture annually. Why don’t the Defense Industries Corporation just expand and concentrate on furniture manufacturing only?

How does all these tie up with ASUU?

Fellow Nigerians, I thought I had dealt with ASUU and education, but some academics wrote to me accusing me of being unfair to ASUU. They claim, that Aremu does not keep his word. Much as I told them to campaign for me and vote him out, lets look at this thing dispassionately.

The people agitating and threatening strikes and mutinies are supposedly graduates from Nigerian universities, who owing to the economic downturn joined the only service or outfit willing to employ them. Some out of sheer self advancement have procured advanced degrees. Recently, my friend Senator Aruwa, was heard to have said 'they would weed out this class of officers from the Police'. Yallabai, hankali fa. I think it would be counter productive to throw out intelligent men who have learnt how to use guns and understand the ins and out of our security system, onto the street. We never learn from history do we? The primary reason Yankee whites capitulated to the blacks, was because of the large volume of black soldiers who had experienced war in Vietnam and were roving the streets of America in the 60s. You can worship ML King as much as you want, but that was the reality. When you throw such men out into the labor market, without any alternative, what do you think they would do? The concept of a pure officer corps does not obtain in a job where savvy and bravery counts. We do understand the manpower projection complaints that come into play, but my administration has promised to think outside the box and resolve this problem once and for all. Hang in there boys, don’t let the Rimis of this world lead you astray. The fact still remains, these are ASUU trained products. Why did ASUU continue to mass produce in a period of economic downturn and why did they teach their products how not to be docile?

Docility? Just like the six Niger Delta governors. I hope to God they are not ‘hoping’ on the Electoral Act gimmick or the Eboes in China votes. I spoke to Ibro recently. He asked me: "Farouk, if I were to promise you the abrogation of the offshore – onshore dichotomy, increase the 13% to 25%., withdraw the lawsuit and make you Chairman of NDDC instead of keeping Ugo. Would you vote for Aremu or me? I told him: "Danllabai, we just might vote for you, but aren’t you forgetting that I am also running". He grinned, and shot back: "Sege Farouk"

Our attention has been brought to the recent 'sell out' of the mandate given to the six south south governors. We want to make it abundantly clear, that their endorsement of Aremu the great, is for their own selfish purposes. What ever happened to Resource Control? Aremu the great said, he would settle the matter politically after the legal settlement has been obtained in court! There would be weeping and gnashing of teeth when elections are carried out on the same day. I wonder if the AD and, or the Afenifere wing, have an idea of the mileage they could wrought in the Niger Delta, at least on the state governmental level. Oh… where is Bola Ige when you need him most?

Ha Ige…For the umpteenth time, the police wants to start the investigation anew. Could someone please tell the powers that be including Comrade Agunloye, that we are no longer interested in who killed Ige. We knew the killer [s] all along. It was a non Yarriba man. They should release Fryo and spare Keyamo and his junior brother some grief. Did anybody know that Keyamo has a twin brother named Fabian? He is the one the Police should be focusing on. Or, they should  concentrate on raiding brothels in search of armed robbers. Who knows, they probably might stumble across some dandy old men.

Fellow Nigerians, before I end this appeal for your mandate, I want all of you to ponder this question. Since when did the Yankee and Chinese interest coincide on the Nigerian political landscape? Could somebody ask Comrade Howard Jeter whether his position on Aremu’s presidency is that of the Yankee government, or, that of the Chinese Communist Party. In fact, if Jeter really loves Nigeria, why is he not receiving his salary in Naira from the Federal government, and what stops him from applying for Nigerian citizenship?

As for the Chinese, I want Onyia and his PDP to tell this to Chuk Chyke Chang, there would be repercussions when I become the president, Taiwan would be recognized.

Consequences plus repercussions equal Salvation.

Vote for Farouk, the redeemer. Vote for the man with a plan and a man on a mission.

Farooook is da man!!!!

March 2002