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Farouk for President [Interview] By
Text of a world press briefing recently held at Gateway Hotel, Otta, Ogun State. In attendance were journalists from the VOB Voice of Biafra; IOO Irohin Omo Oduduwa; BBC British Broadcasting Connection; VOA Voice of Africa; JN Jihad News; MR Madagascar Radio; NNR Nigerian Newspaper Reporters; GT Ghana Times; ZH Zimbabwe Herald. The CNN could not attend because their reporter’s car was waylaid by armed robbers on her way to the conference. The press interview was signaled off by one of the editors of Ace Magazine recently released from detention in connection with the wasting of Bola Ige. He requested that his name should not be used. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you at this world press briefing, our hope for years to come, the man who is going to redeem Nigeria……Farouk the man with a plan and a mission………..Please be seated, after an introduction by the man himself, each one of you who wants to ask a question should stand up, introduce the news organization he or she works for, before asking a question. Thank you.
Farouk: Dear ladies and gentlemen of the press. We have gathered here today to formally launch my campaign for the presidency of Nigeria. I know some of you are wondering, why here. My answer to that is, if not here, where else would I be safe. You have heard of what happened to IBB’s launching in Port Harcourt. Have you seen any armed policemen around? This is the safest place to launch a campaign. One, security ..the government agents would think we are here to watch the Eagles practice for the world cup. Two, economic, this hotel is owned by the present president and since I am going to put him out of a job, he would be stupid to reduce earnings from his investments, knowing fully well that his pension, when he retires might not be forthcoming. ****Laughter****
VOB: Why do you call yourself Farouk? Are you a Muslim? Farouk: My dear, you have asked two important questions which I would have loved to answer philosophically. What is in an name? A name is just a conditioned reflex attuning you to certain sounds and when you hear it you react to it. Just like a dog called Bingo. You have heard recently of Pastor Bakare who prophesied that the name of the winner of the 2003 presidential elections is in the Holy Koran. What does that tell you? Your second question about my being a Muslim. I refuse to answer. I want to inform all my supporters that Nigeria is a multi religious state and my religious affiliation is between me and my chi. To be honest with you, the politics of Nigeria is the politics of money, thus when there is money involved in politics, every politician is of the same religion. Personally, I do not think religious affiliation would negatively affect the outcome of an election others are earmarking billions for.
IOO: Did the pastor mention you by name and what of his previous prophesies that did not come to pass? Farouk: I was not there, but was told that he did, a fact to which I am humble and I thank the Lord for listening to the prayers of Nigerians. About his past prophesies, apparently you are not aware that prophesies are made to warn…if you continue this will happen…so all that had to happen was for a few cows to be buried alive. Anyway, when he prophesied that Aremu the great would not be sworn in, he was referring to the 2003 election. Go and check the records, his prophecy was not dated.
BBC: Have you heard from God yourself about your candidacy? And how are you going to sponsor your candidacy? Do you have money to run like IBB? Farouk: It would be immodest of me to answer the first part of your question, so lets leave that for the prophet himself to answer. But, I would refer you to my first declaration of intent to contest. I believe that being the president of Nigeria is an act or gift from God, and nothing that is God’s is obtainable from money. I think it is a cardinal sin to arrest a prophet and force him to say things that has not been revealed to him. Its like trying to convert Ibrahim El Zakzaky to Christianity. Also, let's face it, IBB is not really rich, he is only a poor man with lots of money, and people of his ilk are in the minority in Nigeria, so how can they win?
NNR: Another prophet Mr. Okotie has also heard from God, does this not nullify the vision favoring you? Farouk: Not at all, first of all, Mr. Okotie is not a prophet, and haven’t you heard that many are called but few are chosen? Okotie only wants to boost his church membership. The young man is unserious, he dropped out of law school, he gave up singing, now after facing competition in winning souls, he wants to play politics. I have one question for Okotie? Is he an Eboe man? If yes, is he the one Orji Kalu is referring to as the holy fire? ***Laughter***
JN: Which party are you going to contest under? Farouk: Well, I cannot really tell you that, and it is irrelevant at this point. Has IBB, Buhari, or Okotie told you the party they are contesting under?
IOO: We have read your second communiqué Farouk for President 2 You also call yourself Kunle Akerekoro, are you Yarriba by any chance? Farouk: Let me answer this question for the last time by using examples. Recently, in my zone Warri, a high chief whom I respect a lot, asked for the name of Olu of Warri to revert to Olu of Itsekiri for there to be peace in Warri. Now, tell me if I want to call myself Kunle, Ijeoma, Farouk …how does that affect your freedom in as much as I do not encroach on your land, wives and property? He should go ahead and declare himself the Otota of Warri and see who would stop him. I am also the Serikin Fulani of Calabar. And in my mind and those of my subjects, my title is comparable to that of Obong of Calabar. In as much as I do not lay claim to another persons name or identity, who loses. All what we need in Warri is peace and more local governments to spread the oil wealth. Omo iya.. let me stop there or the Eboes might think I am favoring you.
Ghana Times: Sir, When you become president, would you re bury all those killed in various coups and buried in unmarked graves. Farouk: In the case of Nigeria, that wont be necessary, you see, when our boys execute someone, they make sure to dissolve the remains in acid first, as a means of punishing them forever even when they are dead and unfeeling.
VOA: You claim to be a Calabar Fulani, what is that really? Farouk: Have you heard of the Hausa Fulani? Its the same thing, and of course we are inseparable. To prove this, the first thing I would do on becoming president is, stop the building of the road linking Adamawa State to the Camerouns, which was announced by the current VP, to encourage the Fulas to migrate to the Cameroun Republic. They would remain here and salvage the nation together with us. And, I view it as an act of economic sabotage for anybody to contribute to these migrations. It would result in the price of meat going up.
MR: Of the three generals planning to contest, whom do you think would give you the most fight? Farouk: Good question. My friend, what you are seeing is a question of smoke and mirrors. I have said before that if we do not watch it, the 2003 race is going to be a two horse race with both horses coming from the same stable. In other words, the only way for IBB to win is if he contests against Aremu the great, and the only way for Aremu to win is if he contests against IBB. Don’t forget these two men already have a pact, so there is no difference between them. They are only blocking the road. The way out is for me to be allowed to contest against myself. Also, I would not call it a fight per se, just a wrestling contest. Although when wrestling with these men, it is advisable to rub a little Vaseline on your body before hand. ***Laughter***
MR: What about Buhari? Farouk: I was coming to that. Look can Buhari really contest? Remember, he does not trust the Arewa Forum and would not be acceptable to the Shamgar political group. IBB is wary of him. He is too rigid, and going about the nation with 52 suitcases packed with his ceremonial uniforms would not be good enough. Most importantly he is a religious extremist to some. We want someone who would be tolerant of the Sharia.
JN: Sir, Sir…he is an exponent of Sharia and Islam! Farouk: No, he is not. He did that to dodge Oputa. At least Sheik Gumi [PBUH] did not think so. And between Buhari and Sheik. I believe every right thinking person would take the Sheik. Most importantly, we don’t want people that have the memory of elephants. These katon banzas do not know how to forgive and forget.
VOB: What would you do if the Eboes threaten to secede? Farouk: Nothing.
VOB: What do you mean by nothing, you mean you would let them go? Farouk: Where are they going? Is it physically possible for them to lift or carve out Eboeland and plant it in the Atlantic and call it a Republic of Biafra?
BBC: Wait…wait…are you saying….. Farouk: Read my lips. What the Eboes want is the guarantee of their safety in any part of Nigeria and the world. The provision of a level playing ground for them to partake in the Nigerian polity. I would not insult their sensibilities by promoting a person like Dupe Afenifere in my cabinet.
IOO: What if the Yarribas want to secede? Farouk: Peacefully or forcefully? IOO: One after the other. ***Laughter**** Farouk: Wait until after the sovereign tribal conference. The Yarribas would declare me president for life.
ZH: Sir, would you take it? Farouk: Where are you from again?
ZH: Zimbabwe, Sir Farouk: Okay, I understand. My answer to that is, not necessarily, but I would visit the Land Use Decree made by Aremu the great CBE
ZH: Sir, what is CBE? It is not on record that the current president was ever knighted by the Queen. Farouk: Conqueror of the Biafran Empire.
VOB: Sir, what do you think of this call for an Eboe president and the latest one being made by the senate president? Farouk: Di anyi…read between the lines. Where am I holding this press conference? In Aremu’s own personal hotel. Where did that grand commander make that statement? In Eboe land. Let him make it in Abuja and on the floor of the Senate, then we would know who is who. You know how Bingo the dog behaves? Bark bark ..and runs to hide behind his master. ****Laughter****
BBC: What plans do you have for the Nigerian economy? Farouk: Read my Farouk for President 1 and other subsequent write ups and communiqués. I cannot go into it in detail, but Nigerians have been promised maximum wages.
IOO: Do you have any plans to probe the previous government when you come into power and what do you intend to do with the present incumbent? Farouk: Read, my economic and political amnesty proposal in Farouk for President 3, We thought of making the current President our Ambassador Plenipotentiary, but there was talk of jet lag and his blood pressure. So currently what we have on the ground is to name the Abuja Stadium after him, but we could always add to that. We are not going to be side tracked into chasing imaginary enemies or threatening to probe someone because of criticism. All we are saying is that we would develop Nigeria. Period. And you can take that to the bank….ehm ehmm not Savanah Bank though.
The light suddenly dimmed in the hall and went out. The manager appeared and apologized profusely stating that the proprietor left standing instruction for the generator only to be turned on at seven o'clock at night. But the audience erupted...
Farouk…Farouk…Farouk……….for president!!!
March 2002
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