Second, consider a system that could choose a Ronald Reagan instead of Jimmy Carter, or a John Major instead of Neil Kinnock, or a Daniel Arap Moi instead of Oginga Odinga. And further consider the excellence that is always bypassed before the choices placed in front of you are made by political parties, interest groups, moneybags, influence bags and plain choice-and-chance.

Third, in its claims of being the best also lies one of its greatest weaknesses. If we trust the choice mechanism of democracy, our own ability to make the right choice and the integrity of the subjects we choose, why should democracy allow the system of lobby? Allowing the institution of lobby to exist is like saying, "Go and do the best you can to stop the elected representatives of the people from doing what they think is in the best interest of the people and in accord with their conscience." Also, why should we allow the power of the media to be misused and abused; so that, instead of performing its expected duty, the media everyday misinform, mis-educate and arouse instead of informing, educating and entertaining the multitude?

Sometimes in the case of the self-proclaimed defender of democracy and freedom the contradictions can even be seen in the name of the advisers selected on the basis of the spoils system of American democracy. Often the advisers know what they want, while the American president doesn’t know what he wants. And as often he doesn’t know what he doesn’t want, and also doesn’t know what he shouldn’t want. He needs to be told, cajoled, and blackmailed into doing what they want. And since they want war now, I can see war, fire, ashes and a foreshadow of things to come in most of the names [allowing ourselves the freedom to make the same mistake that Bush made in the pronunciation of Musharraf, below], can you?

Read on:

Vice President—Dick Chimney

Attorney-General—John Ash-craft

Defence Secretary—Donald Rome’sfall

Secretary of State—Collie POW-ell

Security Adviser—Condolence Rice

British prime Minister—Toe-knee Blare

US President—George Whacker Bush

Iraqi President—So-damn Insane

Even though official America says, "In God We Trust," I am still at a loss as to which God official America refers to. I find more humanity in the theology of atheism, especially the atheism of Robet Ingersoll, than in the morality of the American government. Ingersoll, it was who said,

"My creed is that:

Happiness is the only good.

The place to be happy is here.

The time to be happy is now.

The way to be happy is to make others so."

While America may be the land of opportunity, it is also a place of cut-throat competition, self-centred individualism and pure greed. Even Ingersoll, with a restless, atheistic spirit, was able to note this. He said, "Don’t you know that it if people could bottle the air they could? Don’t you know that there would be an American Air-Bottling Association? And don’t you know that they would allow thousands and millions to die for want of breath, if they could not pay for air? I am not blaming anybody. I am just telling it how it is."

While I was writing Dr. MK al-Zubair sent the following piece from he UK. He didn’t indicate if this was being culled from some source or it is the fruit of his fertile imagination. It just fit in very well with what I was writing.

Attorney General John Ashcroft recently met with President Bush to share details of his latest anti-terrorism measures, designed to prevent attacks on America while preserving freedom and human rights for all law-abiding citizens and visitors who don’t look Arabic.

ASHCROFT: "Mr. President, you’ll be glad to know that the FBI database has been improved. It now holds a comprehensive list of groups and individuals that have given us trouble of any sort, including Al Qaeda, Al Jihad and Al Gore."

BUSH: "Al Gore? He’s not a terrorist, is he?"

ASHCROFT: "Probably not, Mr. President. But the FBI tapped his phone line and heard him say he’s targeting the White House. We’ve been spying on him ever since he grew that beard."

BUSH: "Good idea, John. The beard was mighty suspicious. Make sure you let me know if you spot him wearing a turban. That’s usually the next step. It would give us enough evidence to detain him."

ASHCROFT: "Yes, Mr. President. We’re also starting a program to fingerprint and photograph visitors from certain countries, particularly the Islamic countries."

BUSH: "Good idea, John. And let’s not forget the Muslim countries either."

ASHCROFT: "Yes, Mr. President. We’re trying to use a variety of methods. That’s why we’re reorganizing the CIA. It will now stand for Central

Investigation of Arabs. We don’t want to put all our eggs in one basket."

BUSH: "That’s good, John! Remember: money is no object. We can always buy more baskets. We’ll import them if we need to."

ASHCROFT: "Uh ... yes, sir, whatever you say. The ACLU claims we’re being discriminatory, but let’s face facts: One out of ten Arabs hates America.

That doesn’t seem bad — until you realize that only one out of 50 hates Salman Rushdie. We need to look at the big picture. If only one out of every 100,000 Arabs is a terrorist, that doesn’t seem like a problem. But if we allow a million of them to enter

the country, we’re admitting 10 terrorists!"

BUSH: "That’s scary, John. But I have a solution:

Let’s allow only 999,990 to enter."

ASHCROFT: "Yes, but how do we know which 10 to leave out?"

BUSH: "Well, we can start with Louis Farrakhan. I never did like him."

ASHCROFT: "Uh ... he’s African-American, sir.

Would you like us to detain him?"

BUSH: "Yes, John, for at least a few decades. Inoticed you’ve detained several other people who

aren’t Arabs."

ASHCROFT: "Yes, but they all have connections to the Arab world. For example, we’ve detained a man

named Levi Bara. If you take the first letters of his names and move them to the end, what do you get?

Evil Arab. Just a coincidence? I don’t think so.

We’ve also detained a woman named Greta Baily. If you rearrange the letters of her names, what do you get? Great Libya."

BUSH: "That’s scary. But isn’t it hard to keep track of all these names?"

ASHCROFT: "Well, we’re analyzing names using computer software created by an Indian programmer named Prash Desai. We hired him because his name — you’ll be glad to know — can be rearranged to form Sharp Ideas."

BUSH: "Wonderful! It’s a good thing we grabbed him before India did. Remind me to tell the Pakistani president, Perverse Mushroom, that we did him a big favor." President Bush to share details of his latest anti-terrorism measures, designed to prevent attacks on America while preserving freedom and human rights for all law-abiding citizens and visitors who don’t look Arabic.

April 2003