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Letter Of Appeal To His Former Excellency, The Off-Shoot Of The "Murtala-Obasanjo Administration" By Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
Dear Sir/Madam, Preamble From The Grave: Attention: Your former Excellency, Major General (Alhaji) Mohammadu Buhari:"Let’s get down to another underground spiritual game. Many leaders as you see them, na different disguise them dey-o! Animal in human skin. Animal ‘e put-u tie-o. Animal ‘e wear agbada. Animal ‘e put-u suit-u." The time wey I dey for prison, I call am "Inside World". The time wey I dey outside prison, I call am "Outside World". Na craze world. No be Outside World? (Craze World). No be outside the Police dey? (Craze World). No be outside the soldier dey? (Craze World). No be outside the court them dey? (Craze World). No be outside the magistrate dey? (Craze World). No be outside the Judge them dey? (Craze World). Na craze world be that (Craze World). No be outside Buhari dey? (Craze World). Na craze man be that (Craze World). Animal in craze man skin (Craze World). Na craze world be that! (Craze World). No be outside Idiagbon dey? (Craze World). Na craze man be that (Craze World). Animal in craze man skin (Craze World). Na craze world be that! (Craze World). No be outside them find me guilty? No be outside them jail me 5 years? I no do nothing". Beasts Of No Nation. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti "2.8 billion naira: oil money is missing. Them set up enquiry. Them say money no lost-i-O! Them dabaru everybody: Supervisor, Òbásánjó. Them say make ‘im no talk-u-O! Money no lost, them shout again. Enquiry come close-u-o-o-o-o-o-O! ‘ ‘E no finish, ‘e no finish, ‘e no finish, ‘e no finish, ‘e no finish, ‘e no finish." Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti
Debunking the "Off-Shoot" Theory Of Military Politics: Thank you very much, Your former Excellency, for offering us, undisciplined Nigerians, your shy, holier-than-all-Nigerians, and virtually antiseptic self, to rule Nigeria one more time. Rumour has it that, within 98.753% statistical limit of confidence, the probability that you descended from a long line of Almoravids from ancient Songhai Empire, is high. I believe that Nigerians, undisciplined, as we may appear to be by your very high ethical standards, are, in fact, a very accommodating species of humanity. I wish I am a Nigérienne, maybe, I would have the capacity to understand Nigerians better, including the method to their madness.
You will recall with clarity that just over 18 years ago, on New Year Day, January 1, 1984, within 24 hours of a midnight broadcast by a mutinous gang of soldiers, led in the main, but in the background for logistical reasons, by your very humble self, in collusion with the then Brigadier, later General Sanni Abacha, the then Brigadier, later Major General Babatunde Idiagbon, and the then Major General, later President (General) Ibrahim Babangida, you made a maiden broadcast to us, your foolish undisciplined Nigerian subjects.
In line with your universally acknowledged zero tolerance posture against indiscipline, you rained several mega tons of demolition grade TNT equivalent of vitriolic abuses, well-spiced with innuendos and rabid accusations of ineptitude and corruption, on your Commander-in-Chief, and the democratically elected civilian President of the 2nd Republic, His Excellency, Alhaji Shehu Shagari, and his government. You then proceeded to rape the Obasanjo-approved 1979 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with the uncontrolled rapacity of a certified and disciplined nymphomaniac.
Excuse my grammar, I beg you, please. I am only one other undisciplined Nigerian with a retarded vocabulary and a much challenged sense of decency, respect, judgment, and patriotism. Any way, afterwards, in that maiden broadcast, you then announced to your useless Nigerian subjects that you have unilaterally suspended the General Obasanjo Constitution (1979) with immediate effect. Like congenital idiots, we, your useless and undisciplined subjects, were reminded by you that we have nowhere else to run to except Nigeria, your beloved banana republic. How brilliant of you, our December 31, 1983 Messiah! Unfortunately, Andrew did not heed your patriotic 419. He checked out to République du Niger, just next door to Daura, your village of origin.
Furthermore, your maiden broadcast made it clear to us, your stupid Nigerian subjects, that your then nascent dictatorship was in fact, "an off-shoot of the Murtala-Obasanjo Administration", for whatever that redundant information was worth. However, with the benefit of hindsight, and the curiosity of a cheeky cat, I need your further clarification about a few things, Your former Excellency.
Please forgive my chronic indiscipline, indiscretions, and seeming brashness. Kindly consider my dim-wittedness, and shed more light on the following Decree 4-compliant satanic profanities that repeatedly disorganise both my thinking and my unalloyed patriotism: Did you really mean all what you said in that your maiden broadcast of January 1, 1984, or were they just another bunch of coup plotter’s classical lies, designed to entrap, anaesthetise and hypnotise us, your dumb victims, with a compendium of monologues, well-rehearsed clichés, choreographed blackmails, and macho intimidation? Please, Your former Excellency, kindly clarify if your claim that your dictatorship was "an off-shoot of the Murtala-Obasanjo Administration" was just one more of the usual D-Day, H-Hour " If you and your fair weather clique of mutineers and co-conspirators that subverted the Obasanjo Constitution (1979) of the Federal Republic of Nigeria on Tuesday midnight, December 31, 1983, were really "an off-shoot of the Murtala-Obasanjo Administration", why then are you so glaringly diametrically opposed to General (Chief) Obasanjo’s God-approved diarchy in 2002? Were you just name-dropping in that broadcast? Could your present posture be yet another conspiracy among the military elite, designed to fool us once more, that esprit de corps died 35 years ago, on Saturday, January 15, 1966? On the other hand, are you simply power hungry for power’s sake? Could it be that you have always remained consistently obdurate and insubordinate to Obasanjo’s command, but he "accommodated" you, just like he claims he "accommodated" your coup day MC-in-Chief, the then Brigadier Sanni Abacha? Was it because you were one of his key coup-bursting gurus between Friday, February 13, 1976 and Monday, October 1, 1979? Tell us the truth; is it because of the PTF? Hey! Come to think of it, why has OBJ not sent you to the Justice Akanbi (Anti-Corruption) Commission yet? Remember "2.8 billion naira"? Or is it as arranged, and executively agreed, to let sleeping dogs of the Nigeria-Biafra War lie? Please, Your former Excellency, note very well that General Murtala Ramat Mohammed, following a so-called "bloodless" coup d’état like yours, only ruled Nigeria for 199 days, assisted by the then Brigadier Obasajo, Murtala’s senior by rank, we were told. After the assassination of General Mohammed, Obasanjo gave Nigeria 1,326 solid days of additional original dictatorship, bringing the so-called "Murtala-Obasanjo" Administration to a combined total of 1,525 days of dictatorship. In other words, the Murtala content of the "Murtala-Obasanjo Administration" was only 13%, while General Obasanjo’s tenure lasted for 87% of that "Administration". I beg you, please, refer to the above data, and operate your calculator accordingly: The facts are crystal transparent! Why then, did you inject that misnomer into our consciousness by referring to those two (2) distinct dictatorships as if they were one (1) and the same? Alternatively, could it have been that General Mohammed was actually not assassinated? On the other hand, was (the then Colonel, later, following a double promotion,) Major General Shehu Yar’Adua, a reincarnation of General Mohammed? Or, was it that you really did not regard the exclusive 1,326-day tenure of General Obasanjo as real, for subliminal reasons of genetics and geography of origin? Remember, Obasanjo was as at January 1, 1984, your immediate past Commander-in-Chief, whose Minister of Petroleum you were, the first ever from outside the Niger Delta. What actually qualified you, Your former Excellency, for that job? You seem to be fixated on petroleum (LPG; natural gas; LNG; crude oil; pipeline construction and operations; refinery construction; petrochemicals; refined petroleum products; Petroleum Trust Funds management; etc). Again, please enlighten us, Alhaji. Could it be "as arranged and agreed"? Why? WAI. Even if your junta was an extension of either General Mohammed’s 199-day dictatorship, or General Obasanjo’s 1,326-day dictatorship, or both, via Shehu Shagari, was your broadcast meant to confirm a "turn-by-turn" executive Army Arrangement, similar to what Generals Sanni Abacha and Oladipupo Donaldson Diya did, via Ernest Shonekan, after the 8-year * Babangida-Ukiwe-Aikhomu" dictatorship of 1985 ~ 1993, some ten (10) years, after your 20-month joint venture with Major General Babatunde Idiagbon? Does an allusion to "the Buhari-Babangida Administration" not sound patently asinine to your uncontaminated ears? Well that is how I feel whenever I think of that your maiden broadcast’s reference to a non-existent legacy in Nigerian history, "the Murtala-Obasanjo Administration". I simply cannot digest the thought of combined dictatorships. Why "Murtala-Obasanjo"? Why not "Murtala-Olusegun", or "Mohammed-Obasanjo", or "Ramat-Aremu"? Furthermore, to extend the absurdity of that misnomer you coined, to its extreme limits of its supreme inanity, why not also consider "the Ironsi-Gowon Administration", or the Olusegun-Yar’Adua Administration", or "the Ibrahim-Aikhomu Administration", or "the Babangida-Abacha Administration", or "the Sanni-Diya Administration", or "the Abacha-Abubakar Administration", or "the 11-month Babangida-Abubakar Administration", or "the "Abdulsalami-Akhigbe Administration", or "the Abdulsalami- Obasanjo Administration" or "the Chief (General) Olusegun Obasanjo- Alhaji Abubakar Atiku civilian Presidency"? Your gang of coup plotters successfully subverted the democratically elected government of the 2nd Republic, as you know very well, at midnight, December 31, 1983. Prior to that act of high treason, records have it that you were the intransigent and overtly insubordinate GOC of the 3rd Armoured Division of the Nigerian Army, who constituted himself into a disciplinary nightmare for the Commander-in-Chief, and duly democratically elected President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Alhaji Shehu Usman Shagari. What makes you think that acts of intransigence and gross insubordination are especially attributable to only us, your bloody unruly civilian Nigerian subjects? Your former Excellency, let us imagine, for the purposes of inducing very strong headaches in us (your former victims), that you win the 2003 Presidential elections, would even you not be shocked that the elections must have been rigged in your favour? I know you are very fundamentally puritan. You have never told a lie before, at least not before that your maiden broadcast of January 1, 1984. What exactly will you gain by losing the Presidential election in 2003, knowing fully that you definitely will lose if you contest freely and fairly? Is it for the fun of overheating the polity, for the sheer funk of it? What really will you gain by your seeming act of premeditated and unpatriotic death wish to Nigeria? I hope you are not a sadist. I am not a masochist either, I beg you.
You know very well that you can never, ever win a free and fair election in your long life, for the obvious reason that you were a coup plotter, and coup plotters are, as psychiatric research findings have shown conclusively, based on the psycho-neurological profiles of some 5,773 Latin American, Arab, Asian, African (particularly Nigerian) and European (Spanish, Greek and French) coup plotters, power grabbers and coup busters, that your fraternity of treasonable felons, by virtue of their brain bio-chemistry and DNA composition, are essentially and irredeemably Machiavellian, with distinctive primate macho territoriality firmly imprinted in their neural circuitry. You cannot be an exception. Luckily, you are not alone. Ditto for Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Major Isaac Boro, Major Ifeajuna, Lt. Col. Victor Banjo, Adegboyega, Major Chukwuma Nzeogwu, Major Ben Gbulie, Major General Johnson Aguiyi-Ironsi, Eze Ndiigbo Gburugburu (Ikemba Nnewi) General Chukwuemeka Ojukwu, General (Dr.) Yakubu Gowon, General (Chief) Olusegun Obasanjo, Lt. Col. Bukar Dimka, Major General Shehu Yar’Adua, General Sanni Abacha, Brigadier Raji Rasaki, Lt. General Joshua Dogonyaro, Major General Joseph Garba, Colonel Abdulmumuni, Colonel Lawan Gwadabe, General Ibrahim Babangida, Major General John Shagaya, Lt/ General Theophilus Danjuma, General Murtala Mohammed, Brigadier David Mark, formerly Lt. General Oladipupo Diya, Lt. General Ishaya Bamaiyi, Major General Babatunde Idiagbon, Major Hamza Al-Mustapha, Lt. General Aliyu Gusau, Major Gideon Okar, Major General Mamman Vatsa, Brigadier Bako, etc. You see, once a coup plotter/coup spoiler, always a coup plotter/coup spoiler. It is an addiction wired into your very being. There is no cure! So why are you "declaring your intentions for 2003", given all of the above? Are we to expect some good old macho territoriality from you? How violent will it be?" Bloodless"? Bloody?
Please assure us that you will not suspend the Abdulsalami-Akhigbe Constitution (1999) once you are sworn-in. It feels strange, and sounds rather funny, does it not? Imagine (a whole) you, Buhari, being "sworn-in", not in uniform and beret (NB: You introduced beret wearing as your contribution to Nigerian military fashion), but in a three-piece Gucci suit, complete with a shocking psychedelic yuppie tie, a GSM set in hand, solid gold Rolex analogue wrist watch, platinum-plated canine teeth (from Dubai). Or would you stick to your usual white and green babanriga with a matching "Shagari" cap?
The Conspiracy Theory Of "Army Arrangement": "The young Africans them get two ears for head, them get two eyes too. Them dey see the thing wey dey happen. Them dey hear am too. Few people dey fat with big money, and the rest dey hungry, Me, Fela, I challenge Òbásánjó, Na wayo ‘e dey, all the time. Make ‘e carry me go any court, I go open book for am. Na wayo government we dey-o, égbà mi-O! Na rigimo government we dey-o, Ye-e-e-e paripa-O! Na paddy-paddy government we dey, égbà mi-O!" "Money, money. Paddy, Paddy. Arrange-e ni. Wayo, wayo. Economic. … Add am together, give me the answer: Army arrangement. Money, money, put am together. Army arrangement. Paddy, paddy, put am together. (Army arrangement). Wayo, wayo, put am together (Army arrangement). Economic, put am together (Army arrangement). Division or multiplication (Army arrangement). Mathematician put am together (Army arrangement). One answer you go get. (Army arrangement)… Arrangee-ee masiters-i-o-o! (Army arrangement). … Fi si. Fi si’le! One day go be, one day! …" Army Arrangement. By Fela Anikulapo-Kuti
Only just recently, a very thoughtful 19-year old Nigerian secondary school pupil called, Sung Bauta, posted an article titled, "A Reasonable Nigeria"., on the Internet, from the US of A, Please read that article very carefully. I will also recommend that excellent piece to your adversaries and fellow members of the National Council of States, General (Chief) Obasanjo, and General (Prince of the Niger) Babangida, since you three (3) former and serving military Heads of State appear to have convinced yourselves that you are not only indispensable, but are also perpetually politically recyclable, particularly at the Presidential level of wishful thinking, whether, we, your former and current gullible moronic subjects, understand or not; whether we like it or not..
Sung Bauta reminded his fellow Nigerians to recall what the likes of you, Buhari, did or did not do for Nigerians. He alerted Nigerians to remember that they are still dealing with soldiers; "democracy", or no democracy. "Nascent" or geriatric, I would add. Sung Bauta queried that if Nigerians complain about General (Chief) Obasanjo’s performance now, what do they expect you, Buhari, would offer them in 2003 and beyond? Absolutely nothing! You will only make things worse, he cautioned.
Please note very well that young Sung Bauta was born just around the time you and your fellow coup plotters were busy undermining the authority of a democratically elected civilian President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Alhaji Shehu Usman Shagari, until you finally successfully subverted and froze the Constitution of that then nascent democracy. It is interesting to note that Sung Bauta was still breast-feeding as you made that your maiden broadcast of Tuesday, January 1, 1984. Unfortunately, your fellow coup plotter, General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida, the guy who deprived you of being a four-star general, did what you did to Alhaji Shehu Shagari. He subverted your authority with impunity. At that time, young Sung Bauta was yet to complete his toilet training as a budding toddler.
Come to think about it, you, Major General (Alhaji) Mohammadu Buhari, are the only former military Head of State of Nigeria that is a mere two-star general, and not a four-star Nigerian general. Was it because, unlike Gowon, Murtala Mohammed, Obasanjo, and Abdulsalami Abubakar, you were so disciplined, incorruptible, and un-ambitious? No, do not pity yourself for the wrong reasons, please, Your former Excellency, I beg you. Babangida simply did not give you a chance! Ó mà sé-ó-ó-ó ó-ó! No wonder. We can now understand why you, Your former Excellency, will never forgive IBB: He ruined your Presidential curriculum vitae forever. You are not a four-star made-in-Nigeria general. Therefore, in strict Nigerian military political sense, you are, and will continue to remain, a fresher, and a subordinate of four-star General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida, alias Maradona, forever and ever, lai-lai, ati lai-lai, insha Allah. Amen.
Today, even at 19 years of age, young Sung Bauta knows that Nigerians cannot compare you, Buhari, with Obasanjo in any way, because you two are completely different entities. The young man is absolutely correct! Furthermore, he avers that the greatest (and probably only) achievement any dictator can attain, is to hand over the very powers, he usurped in connivance with his fellow military felons, to a democratic government. Your former Excellency, Alhaji Buhari, you did not even have a transition programme, much more contemplate ever handing over power to any bloody civilian. What a great difference!
Sung Bauta does not think that all Nigerians are that forgetful. Nevertheless, if they are, he reminded Nigerians that, "We have had enough. We have had enough promises that were never fulfilled; we have had enough of tyranny, selfishness, greed, and other things that our so-called promising leaders have brought in the past years. We do not need their promises any more. It is time for us to go before God on our knees, and ask Him to choose a leader that will be an instrument in His hands to make Nigerians, not Nigeria, what he wants them to be." All of these are verbatim quotes from a 19-year old Nigerian. Nigeria has definitely changed! Sung Bauta concluded his appeal to his fellow Nigerians by stating very emphatically that it is complete madness for a person like you, Major General Mohammadu Buhari to firstly, "work for the North", and then, "the whole nation", in that order of priority! He beckoned on 127 million Nigerians not be blinded by the fact that you, Major General Mohammadu Buhari, are nothing but bad news for a future Nigeria, and made a clarion call to reason to all Nigerians on Planet Earth. Hear, hear!
Let me end this piece by appealing to you, Your former Excellency, Major General Buhari, not to ever underestimate the collective intelligence of Nigerians again. According to the 2001 edition of the CIA Fact Book, approximately 64% of Nigerians are adolescents, younger than 20 years of age. In other words, Sung Bauta’s generation, some of whom were yet unborn when you made that your "off-shoot" maiden broadcast, are now in the majority. Incidentally, your generation, Babangida’s generation, Obasanjo’s, and older generations barely constitute less than 3% of Nigeria’s estimated population of 126,635,626. Can you see why? Please, I beg you, if ever you become the President of Nigeria, freely, fairly, or by hook and/or crook, I will simply proceed on self-exile to République du Niger, and, hopefully, by the time your civilian dictatorship of Nigeria ends, I could be their next military dictator, waging my own War Against Indiscipline (WAI) on 10,355,156 Nigériennes. Why? Because you introduced me to the secrets of camouflage as a military political science.
Thank you very, very much, Your former Excellency. Your stupidly obedient, naively patriotic, and very staunchly loyal, though still very undisciplined former servant, Kòmbò Mason Braide (PhD)
Reference: Sung Bauta: "A Reasonable Nation" ; (Tuesday, May 6, 2002).May 2002
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