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Nigeria: Is lying a way of life? By
It is springtime in the United States of America and it is baseball time. Thousands of baseball fans flock to the ballpark to cheer their favorite baseball teams. This outing also afford families time to celebrate and to be together. The families would organize cookout where food such as hamburger, hot dog are served and washed down with beer or other beverages. Americans love baseball, as Nigerians love soccer. Here in the USA, they call baseball a national past time event. Every nation has its own national past time, hence the question: is lying Nigerian national past time or a way of life? Back in the days during my high school era and towards the epic of my puberty, we used to engage in a fierce competitive studies
geared toward attainment of good grades in the West African School Certificate Examination (WAEC) and the General This instructor’s conclusion has since stuck in my cerebrum and has frequently been recalled every time a statement that bears a semblance occurs. It has been observed that Nigerians have taken this ideal to a new level like icing on the cake. The icing have become too pronounce and too legitimized that it calls for a critical analysis. So, the question once again is have Nigeria become a nation of congenial liars or are they just blowing their trumpets too loud and too strong? It seems that lying has become Nigerian past time. Almost everybody lies and sometimes, one find it difficult to decipher and distinguish which comment is the truth and which one is not. In the American culture, during a one on one communication, the communicators were expected to look into one’s eyes. This unwritten culture was supposed to reassure the participants that each person is representing the truth and nothing but the truth. This same value applies in the American political arena. The American politicians are expected to be honest and any attempt to deviate from this unwritten norm incurs the wrap of the electorate. Remember the infamous comment by the former USA president Bill Jefferson Clinton during the Lewinski episode where he looked into the camera and proclaimed "I did not have sex with that woman…" why did he look into the camera? It goes that when a USA president want to communicate directly to the American people, he would look into the TV camera, reminiscent of an eye to an eye contact communication (an eyeball to eyeball). The significance of Clinton’s communication was supposed to convey the message that he wanted the Americans to trust him. Whereas, an opposite is the case among most Nigerians. They would look into one’s eyes and lie between their teeth. To compound the lies, they would smile in the process, which was supposed to drive the nail right through the heart. Most of the time, they failed to reconcile when they are honest and when they are dishonest. If one thinks that this author is making this issue up, then the doubting Thomas should conduct an unscientific study by talking to a Nigerian. Start with a simple question such as: what id your name, then proceed to their age. If you think that Al Gore, the Democratic Party presidential touch bearer who lost to George Bush in the 2000 presidential election exaggerate too much, well my friend, you ain’t see nothing yet. A Nigerian would not tell you his/her age nor will they be 100 percent truthful during communication. If the inquisitor pry deeper in their lives, the subject (Nigerian) would dig their head deeper into the mud. The most interesting aspect of it all is that two weeks later; a Nigerian would remember exactly what was been said at the first meeting. This is supposed to actualize a make believe story hatched out of wonderland. Recently, there has been an accelerated degeneration of marital bliss among the Nigerian citizens in the Diaspora. One of the principal causes of these failed marriages is due to the obscurity of unfounded fallacies. Some Nigerian men who travel to Nigeria in search of a bride engage in uncontrollable and blatant lies thereby inflating their resume. They would reinvent themselves, paint romantic but false pictures of who they are, what they do for a living, boast of accolades that they acquired over the years. In essence, these men would enter into a fallacious and bad faith African traditional marriage (a social contract) with their bride and her family. They would deceive the brides’ family has the final say on whether to accept or reject him the suitor. These liars were able to succeed in their scheme because the entire Nigerian structure in based on class system and of course, lies - to impress and belong. The class system in Nigeria could be worse that the cast (social) system in India, which assigns status, to each group of people from opulent to untouchable. Unfortunately, this comparison has not bee seriously explored. Anyway, while in Nigeria, these liars would bask in the glory of their false identity, and the only obstacle to their faith is a return to the Diaspora, where their real self exists. As soon as the bride migrates to the Diaspora with the groom, all the lies begin to unravel and manifest themselves. Instead of a fast or flashy car, they would be commuting by bus and train. Instead of living in a mansion, they would reside in an apartment, instead of living among the glamorous and wealthy, they would be living in a drug infested, crumbling neighborhoods where one need to wear a helmet when one venture outside. The helmet acts as a shield that would protect them from ricochet bullets. In most cases, the suitor would take home a bride who is a nurse or a professional in other fields. Once they return to the Diaspora, the suitor would depend on the wife to make the money while he hangs out with his buddies having a good time drinking beer and gossiping. So the wife would be converted into a workhorse. She becomes the family breadwinner, the homemaker, and a maid and child bearer. Very soon, stress would step in and the marriage would crack and eventually collapse. However, he fact that the bride succumbed to false pretenses does not exonerate her of a share in the responsibility for what transpired. This goes to one of the roots of this thesis regarding class system in Nigeria. The bride wants to belong in a high league. She wanted to "ego trip" on being married to Mr. Right, the doctor, the Ph. D. holder, the millionaire, the big shot and in the process was blinded by the fact of life, that is, some Nigerians blow their trumpet too loud and way too strong to be realistic. This trumpet thing, like the former President George W. Bush would say, also applies to the Nigerian lawmakers. For instance, the former President of the Nigerian Senate and the former Speaker of the Nigerian House of Representatives, two of the most powerful offices in the Nigerian political structure lied about their ages and academic qualifications and that got them into political hot soup followed by removal from their official position in the Nigerian parliament. The difference between the Nigerian movers and shakers and the rest of the Nigerian citizenry is that those who occupy the seat of power always get away with murder (lies). Furthermore, when their hands are caught on the cookie jar, they would resort to intimidation, destruction of whatever that would implicate them, be it a building or documents (burned to arches), yet they would get away with it. The facts of the matter are that Nigerians do not have to over blow their trumpets and pretend to be what they are not. The Nigerian politicians cited above do not need to lie about their academic qualifications given that the academic threshold for Nigerian officer holders is high school diploma. But they cannot resist their inner entreat to blow their trumpets to prop up their ego. Talking of qualifications, there is a new trend among the Nigerian people where every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to be addressed by his or her paper qualification or given names by associations. We now have Nigerians who wanted to be addressed as Doctor James (honorary doctorate), engineer Paul, computer specialist Stella, dentist Mary, brain surgeon rosemary, accountant Peter and musician Benson. How about carpenter John or auto mechanic Samuel? Nobody would like to be called the last two titles because they do not symbolize class irrespective of how lucrative that both profession might be. As a matter of "ego trip" principle, one dare not call a Nigerian Mr. or Mrs. They must be addressed by an assumed name otherwise, do not bother to call them at all. What a travesty! There was an incident at a recent Nigerian event in Washington DC where a special guest to the occasion refused to donate money simply because he was addressed as Mr. instead of Dr. despite the fact that he was not a medical doctor or a Ph.D. academic holder. As soon as his "ego trip" title was reconciled and called out over the microphone, he then stood up and made donation. Those who lie and hope for a better future should make mends with themselves because the hollow that they create makes it very difficult to distinguish a good egg from the bad. They are the bad eggs that give Nigerians bad names. They are lots of honest Nigerians, such as Sam Mbakwe who refused to be drawn into unearned title and hypocrisy of Nigerian assumed name. Instead of being called doctor (honorary doctorate), he went to University of Lagos, Nigeria and obtained his doctorate degree through the old fashion way, he earned it. Unfortunately, like an Igbo saying, it takes only one bad egg to soil the rest of the good ones. By being honest, perhaps, the stress in the Nigerian Diaspora marriages could be salvaged, or at least alleviated. Even the president of Nigerian and his henchmen could not resist blowing their own trumpet. One such occasion occurred on April 10, 2001, at a forum organized by the Obasanjo Leadership Forum at Ilorin, Kwara State. Dr. Bolade Osinowo, a special adviser to the Nigerian president used the forum to proclaimed that Obasanjo’s government have eradicated inter ethnic conflicts and other human right abuses in Nigeria. What Dr. Osinowo failed to mention was that those who have been wronged since Obasanjo took office have not seen justice administered by the national government. The Nigerian politicians need to renounce lies. If Russia can renounce communism, why not Nigerian politicians renounce lies. Although, it may not be easy, given that once a congenial liar, always a congenial liar. It would be like whipping a dead horse, but like Rev. Jesse Jackson once said, we would "keep hope alive." Finally, the question still begs: is Nigeria a nation of pathological liars or a nation of over blown trumpeters? Alternatively, is the whole thing a misconception of an inherent colonial norm that have refused to die like the dinosaur which scientists are desperately attempting to resuscitate through archeological explorations and movie recreations like in the Steven Spielberg movies? Oh! Just call me Chike or Chike Okafor if you would.
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