Nzeribe and Monalisa

Nzeribe and Monalisa

What, you may ask, has a ‘distinguished’ politician like Nzeribe got to do with Monalisa, the most famous smile in the most famous painting in the world apart from probably having a sneaky wish to own the painting, if as is rumoured, he can afford it?

Well as background, let us keep the wealthy Nzeribe at a dangerous arms length as we source the ammunition he has amassed over the years and is loading into MONAC to achieve his aims. I hear he is a past master at conflict resolution and has contributed with arms full of support. Was is not Nzeribe who gave one million pounds to Brixton some years ago? Hopefully he has showered similar tiny sums on youth projects in Nigeria. If so no doubt the Red Cross in his Senatorial District must be the best equipped in Nigeria. Hurray perhaps.

Historically, Nzeribe will be remembered not for his legendary (or hoped for) philanthropy but for the Association to Bastardise, (sorry Better) Nigeria which seemed to seek to politically immortalise Babangida, bury Abiola and produce the vanishing trick and magic par excellence of millions of suspect signatures.

My advise about Nzeribe’s new improved version of ABN and YEAA combined and called the MONAC is to LISA i.e. Leave It Severely Alone. MONALISA get it leaving out the C??? Everyone has a painting or picture at home. Some are fake. Nzeribe’s MONA may turn out to be a fake, MONALISA and it will not be his fault as he always has such good intentions. It may be turned by some unscrupulous Nigerians, not Nzeribe, and evil foreigners like with the ABN, into a platform for a new corporation to Make Obasanjo Nobody Again Corporation (MONAC). By mere association of words and names Obasanjo will be dragged in the same smelly, sticky, filthy, all embracing mud that Babangida and Abacha wallowed of their own freewill and Nzeribe may be powerless to stop those out to make the mud stick to Obasanjo so that he will be rejected like the aforementioned characters by the people of Nigeria but this time at the polls in 2003 if not before at carefully choreographed primaries.

When Nzeribe, like Babangida and Abacha, sneeze or vomit a political kite, every political analyst and every single student of political science should dissect it to anticipate the fallout of nuclear proportions before it reveals itself in all its diabolical ramifications and plunges us again into the chasm of inglorious political cobwebs of unutterable darkness and torment. Of course his intentions are always pure… like water in plastic bags.

Although to the uninitiated, Nzeribe seems to want to paint a pretty picture of a much loved President-For-Life (or at least for two terms) chosen by all parties as a consensus candidate, in fact Nzeribe’s detractors may rework the plot and action to give a scenario that could closely play to the role of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. With Julius Obasanjo in the role of an unambitious but successful General (note the similarity and the flowing agbada/cloak) conveniently suspected to desire to turn into Emperor (a second term) used by underground men in MONA as an excuse to save the republic from the fictitious Empire. In Caesar’s time, suspicion was raised only by those shouting "Hail" loudest (e.g. ‘Lets’ have a consensus candidate for the three or 33 parties’). Julius Obasanjo should beware of the gathering storm and not be sucked in, no matter how appealing a consensus candidate may appear to be. He should ‘Beware the Ides of 2003’ and note the number of Judases and "Brutii’ or Brutuses around him hailing him loudest while the people grovel at petrol stations and explode over kerosene stoves. As his men have stated, he should face the next 800 odd days in office and deliver on a few more of those promises he made to himself and to us at the beginning of his first term. Forget, but do not ignore, Nzeribe who is a wise man surrounded by those who may have ‘lets pretend to lift him up so we can bring him crashing down’ plans.

MONALISA smiles a strange smile and there are many fake Monalisas around. This particular MONA could turn out to be a time bomb and seems as politically fake as they come. Under the MONAC smile could lurk, unknown to Nzeribe of course, a particularly nasty plan of dissection and stabbing that would put Machiavelli and Shakespeare and Brutus to shame. I suspect that Mr. Davis or is it Davies will be de-mothballed, called out of retirement, retrenchment or whatever to lead the think-tank for the Destruction of the Current Fourth Republic and to give the public the blue print for consensus while the blackprint of destruction is drawn up out of our sight. He will be brought back into service to dust the muck of ages off his list of millions of ABN members. By now even the fake ones have been around so long that we think the list may be on the voters register as authentic. Perhaps the ABN did not die after all but merely stepped aside in that unique arrogance known only to wealthy politicians. ‘He who fights and steps aside lives to fight and aspire another day’. As the soldier says – ‘don’t throw away a good weapon’. The ABN may just have gone to sleep knowing that in Nigeria time will bring about another use for it. MONAC is also so close to Monarch that perhaps we should be planning for a King. All those associated with MONAC should be kept at arms length, as with any foot and mouth disease, if not because of past record then because of the danger of national contamination. Of course all this is speculation and Nzeribe is probably reformed and a saint altruistic motives. But does a leopard change its spots or just its menu? Hungry? Abiola yesterday, Julius Obasanjo tomorrow? To paraphrase Ojukwu. The devil is in the eye of the beholder. Each person sees himself as a saint and the other as the devil. Devilish times are afoot. Watch and pray and work and scrape the paint of this latest beautiful bride MONA and LISA. Leave it severely alone. I am reminded of a master puppeteer who was a master at making pretty toys that attract attention but bite back at the fingers that feed them or explode in the faces of the children. Nothing is as it seems, not even the MONALISA’s smile.

Please note.

One is delighted to see that there is now a balancing force in Nigerian politics, the Southern Governors who for once have a spine enough to argue with our former No Go Area champions. They are not Anti-North just Pro South and aim to de-marginalise the country. A voice at last. I am in heaven.