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OUR OFFICIAL DEATH CONVOYS By
Since May 1999 when the present civilian administration picked up the mantle of leadership from the totally exhausted military junta, Nigerians have lost count of the number of reported accidents involving official government vehicular convoys. From the Local Government Councils to the State Governments, right through to the Federal government, the story is the same: multiple ghastly car accidents involving top government officials. Many of these crashes had recorded mind-boggling fatalities, not to enumerate the various broken limbs and wasted human organs as well as the millions of taxpayers Naira lost in the process. Why would official government motorcades constitute such a tremendous traffic hazard to themselves and other road users? Is there no more traffic regulations in Nigeria? If there is, are government officials exempted from compliance? What the hell is in government business that overnight transforms its members into highway stunts? Is it the proverbial intoxicant of power at work? Why are Nigerian political office holders so highly accident-prone? Is it really safe to entrust the management of a nation to individuals who cannot conform to basic traffic ethics or who are making virtue out of recklessness? What manner of a boss that would sit coolly inside a car while his chauffeur is cruising like a James Bond movie stunt, spreading death and horror in the process? Can a minister’s driver possibly operate the vehicle outside of the instructions given to him by the boss? These are questions whose answers may give us some insight into the mindset of those who presently rule us. The late Tai Solarin is on record to have said that any of his drivers who exceeded the nation’s speed limit of 100 kilometers per hour to his knowledge had earned himself an instant dismissal, and to avoid the temptation to ever break that personal traffic code, the respected social critic always set out on his missions as early as possible. It is only in Nigeria that political leaders of all grades and hue literally crash into public assignments, at the very last minute, in ways that are clearly calculated to intimidate the people. Why and how our politicians developed the risky habit of driving recklessly through the often poorly maintained roads of Nigeria as if they are on race tracks still continue to baffle me, especially if one takes into account the fact that these miscreants are no kids who have taken their parents’ cars out without due permission just to impress their not so fortunate peers. Here, we are talking about Governors, Ministers, Legislators, Councilors, the Vice President and even the President himself. Without exception, they have all been cited for traffic accidents in the last two years alone. On his recent trip to Bayelsa, the President’s convoy was reported to have been involved in the usual bumper-to-bumper slamming due to excessive speed or whatever. The latest of the unending statistics of ‘executive crashes’ being that of the Vice President who apparently would not want to be out-done in the official kamikaze circus while he toured Uyo. What is really going on amongst our leaders? Is there a spell? Perhaps one should evoke the old road safety frustration induced sign on them: For years we have warned you, kill yourself if care! In the days of military rule it was very easy to understand why convoys of armed leaders were always moving at break neck speeds. Because they were soldiers, known to be always drunk with their eyes misty with pepper soup even as early as 9 am, the risky driving they indulged in was accepted to had suited both their occupation and their circumstances. There was also the psychological fact that they were perpetually afraid of being ambushed and killed by those of their colleagues who were also keen on seizing power. Largely out of fear, they had to always move at supersonic speed to avoid such eventuality. The case of Murtala Mohammed who was assassinated in a slow-moving traffic must have added impetus to this apprehension of militarymen in government. Some of them equally knew that they were not doing well in office. Consequently, they tried as much as possible to avoid any close contact with the people they were oppressing by perpetually moving about in armored tanks surrounded by many troops with guns and bayonets at the ready for fear of been lynched. Some simply childishly enjoyed the imperial sound of sirens and the fact that they could actually drive through the congested roads while fellow but powerless citizens are forced out of the way by drunken horsewhips wielding escorts. It is easy to understand such psychological make up if you remember that majority of them were school dropouts who never had the faintest expectation of ever riding a car in their lives. Suddenly, they found themselves as their "Excellencies" now encased inside darkly tinted limousines best suited for the Al Capons or the fabled Sicilian Mafiosi, and everybody frightfully making way for them as they fierily cruise by. It must have overwhelmed them, exceedingly. And, of course, for these traffic rudeness and manifest insensitivity, it was always a hail of curses and insults from the rightly infuriated masses that trailed them wherever they displayed these animal instincts. If indeed the effects of curses and evil wishes were that immediate, many of our erstwhile military leaders would have been dead by now. Somehow, because these soldiers-rulers had very well trained military drivers in the mold of Sergeant Roger of the infamous Abacha Strike Force piloting them, they did not record too many fatalities amongst themselves even though many unlucky civilian road users had numerous painful stories to tell. I once witnessed an unusual scene of raw brutality and power drunkenness when the convoy of then Col. Jeremiah Useni ran into an elderly man whose car decided to pack up at the same time the almighty governor was turning into the Benin City GRA from the local airport. Rather than help the totally terrified man, the escort troops in that convoy brutally descended on the gentleman and beat him to pulp with guns and horsewhips. What really troubled me in the whole incident was not the savagery of the escort but the indecent laughter and sense of pride in the patently ugly face of the governor. I took notice of the sad reality, there and then, that we were been governed by animals in uniform. If Jerry Useni is till around he should remember this gory story. Nigeria is now being governed by an administration supposedly elected by the People. The wayward and uncivilized displays of official powers ought to have gone with the generally uncivilized military. Unfortunately, that is not the case. The civilians seem to want to out-do the military in the deadly game even without the special skill of the soldiers. The nagging question therefore is: Why do government convoys still continue to speed rather condescendingly across the nation as if they were in a land being forcefully occupied? One of the recent victims of the Useni-type of power show is a former first lady, Madam Azikiwe, coincidentally in the hands of the current first lady, Mrs. Obasanjo! Well, it is incidentally the late Zik himself that once taught us that no condition is permanent. I always find it a nauseating circus watching these official convoys of death as they childishly misuse these expensive public vehicles to chase and intimidate members of the same public out of the way. These routine dramas are generally indicative of the presence of our Vagabonds in Passage or VIPs. One very unfortunate part of this officially generated mayhem is the fact that these gubernatorial ruffians do not only kill themselves in these raw power exhibiting safaris, they also kill and maim both the innocent and the oppressed bystanders along the way. Truly, the military has stayed too long in power in Nigeria, so long, that the concept of governance has become unduly militarized in our consciousness. There is no other rational explanation for the risky show of shame. Let us not forget, however, that apart from the suicidal nature of their driving style, they are also setting bad examples for our youths. Take it or leave it, these people constitute a part of our political elite for now and our children are naturally looking up to them for inspiration, especially those amusing aspects of such conduct. But how can a government whose officials are being regularly cited for reckless and indecent driving muster the moral strength to want to legislate on a civilized driving code for the society? Well, it should be obvious to all that safety seat belts and our usually parachute-size ‘agbada’ do not go together. No factory-made belt would go round the ever-expanding tummies of our politicians, anyway. Consequently, traffic mortality in Nigeria is among the highest in the world. The clear and undeniable tragedy inherent in these statistics of ‘joro jara joro’ or kamikaze vehicular displays is the inescapable inference of irresponsibility which they create for the leadership, for, it is only an irresponsible person that would willfully step on a car acceleration pedal without any regard to the Highway Code and the safety of other road users. A government that delights itself in flagrantly flouting traffic rules just to show undue kampe-ism is actually demonstrating its inadequacy in office. It is instructive that the President and his men have been making endless trips abroad to learn how true democracies work. One thing they ought not to have missed out in these numerous tutorial expeditions is the civility of government officials elsewhere. I am presently visiting a state where the governor occasionally rides the public underground train to and from his office. Once I have queued directly behind this same governor at an airport checking-in counter to collect a boarding pass for the same aircraft. I did not see any fierce looking orderly. I noticed that the man held his brief case and winter jacket himself and there was no ‘gadu gadu ‘ stampede to herald his arrival as we routinely do to our ‘big men’ in Nigeria. The simple truth about all these alarming official car crashes is that we do have a surfeit of misfits in high places. People who are being occupied by their ephemeral offices instead of they occupying the offices. Of course, they may easily cheat on the people, even intimidate and harass them, but certainly they cannot cheat machines whose basic science they hardly understand; when you abusively push any mechanical contraption beyond its designed safety limits, you are surely accelerating your funeral date. Those who must govern others must first learn to govern their own instincts and idiosyncrasies. The present unnecessary display of unrefined power, which those official convoys are ostensibly designed to achieve, is an outward manifestation of deep-rooted inner poverty. In the circumstance, it would not be out of place if the President should henceforth convene another retreat for his ministers and aides, this time around, on the crucial theme of Official Traffic Ethics in a Democracy. I do feel the nation really needs it because prevention is better than sumptuous state funded funerals .
Prof. Mike Ikhariale Cambridge, MA |