Pseudo-Afghanistanism & The Nigerian Intelligentsia

By

Kombo Mason Braide (PhD)

Port Harcourt, Nigeria.

"If we do not know where we are headed, at least we do know from where we started."

"The foundation for nation-building can only be its humanity, not its mere physical envelope or material prospects. It is the humanity that defines a nation, not its megalomaniac rulers who permit themselves to forget, all too often, that they themselves are a mere minuscule part of that humanity". - Professor Wole Soyinka.

"A nation's place in the world is defined by a matrix of factors, which are reflected in two dimensions - how the nation sees itself and how others see it. The nation's image of itself emerges from the shared dreams and vision of the leadership and the citizenry, and may involve some myth making". - Professor Anya O. Anya.

Four years ago, Professor Wole Soyinka (1), Nigeria’s first and probably last Nobel Price winner, given the sorry state of education in the country today, stated at a public lecture on redesigning Nigeria that, beyond the euphoria of independence, Nigeria simply did not know where it was going for over 30 years. He went on to advise that, since at least we know from where we started, we should return to that starting point, and then retrace our steps, acknowledge our mistakes, reinforce the valid turnings, evaluate viable options, and then, set down a credible road map for the future, for the guidance of subsequent generations of Nigerians. There can be no better advice for a nation whose psyche has been so persistently bashed, from top to bottom, for over 40 years. But then, who listens? Who cares? Túréncí. Búkúrú. Gìrámà.

Only just last year, Professor Anya O. Anya (2), an eminent Nigerian economist, revealed in the preamble to his address at the Distinguished Management Lecture of the Nigerian Institute of Management that, indeed, Nigeria's so-called founding fathers did not even share any common vision of independent Nigeria right from the very onset. Though Nigeria is a country, it is not yet a nation, even if there is some consensus that the Nigerian experiment is worthwhile. Consequently, as a matter of uttermost priority, Nigerians should be concerned about how best to guarantee their country’s prospects. Again, who listens? Who cares? Túréncí. Búkúrú. Òyìbó!

The contributions of these two renowned Nigerian intellectuals in sensitising fellow Nigerians about the need to control the damage already caused by several years of sustained misrule, inspired this piece. We hope that by this effort, we will help to propagate a long overdue process of shaking thousands of other equally bona fide members of the Nigerian intelligentsia, both at home, and abroad, including the Diaspora, out of their seeming complacency, and to take up the leading role of reinventing Nigeria.

The Federal Government has refused adamantly to support such a process of meaningful national deliberation and soul searching. Although a forum of Nigerian academics deliberated on the pluralistic nature of the Nigeria in 2001, and subsequently published its proceedings for the benefit of Nigerians, so far, there has been no serious thought given by all tiers of government in Nigeria to the utility of those proceedings, yet. However, it is very encouraging to note that Nigeria’s intelligentsia (in academia) have started to seize the initiative by proffering workable solutions to the national question. Indeed, very soon, the University of Lagos will be hosting intellectuals in Nigeria, including representatives of the Federal, State and Local governments, to another session of deliberations to address the national question. (5)

Our task here begins with a brief overview of the fortunes of nations globally, vis-à-vis the direct contributions and relative impacts of their intelligentsia. We will then veer into some interesting case examples form Afghanistan, before and after September 11, 2001. We chose Afghanistan as our benchmark for reasons that will become clearer as we progress. Generally, we will analyse and discuss the retarding impact of the overtly anti-intellectual environment presently manifest in the Federal Republic of Nigeria, including its inhibitive effects on the country’s potential for greatness. We hope to impart some useful lessons.

A Major Digression Into Pseudo-Afghanistanism:

Afghanistanism crept into contemporary Nigerian journalese around 1984, during the military dictatorship of Major General Mohammadu Buhari, who grossly breached the fundamental human right of freedom of expression of Nigerians with impunity. Essentially, Mohammadu Buhari made it a crime for his subjects to think. In a frenzy of conceited righteousness, he dished out a farrago of stiff sanctions against anyone who dared to express opinions (true or not) that could embarrass public officers (like him!). What Mohammadu Buhari did was tantamount to inducing a vicious paradox by asking someone calmly, "Please, do not think of the colour, red". Weird!

Nigerian ingenuity, coupled with the human need for self-preservation, necessitated a counter-strategy for surviving Buhari’s Banana Republic of Nigeria, where his brainwave, no matter how ridiculous, was "law". That counter-strategy was Afghanistanism. The Nigerian Press in Mohammadu Buhari’s Banana Republic chose (rather wisely) to indulge in detailed and insightful deliberations about the progress of the liberation struggles of the Mujahideen against Soviet imperialism in far away Afghanistan. They were not ready to take pointless risks. Afghanistanism has its virtues! At least, it saved their necks effectively.

Although avoidance, compliance, and virtual "mumurity" are universally acknowledged survival strategies, the inexcusable complacency, and the "if-you-can’t-win-them-join-them" mind-set of the Nigerian intelligentsia, by default, contributed largely to the sorry state of affairs in Nigeria, and in fact, as is good as total abdication of their historical responsibility. Complacency should not be confused for Afghanistanism, which, in essence, avoids conflict today principally for the sake of winning the fight on resumption tomorrow. Afghanistanism is not a "cop-out" but an effective strategic component of the art of conflict manoeuvres, which, ironically, the intelligentsia of contemporary Afghanistan used effectively without actually being aware of the Nigerianese fashioned after their country. At best, complacency is a semi-comatose version of "si’do’n-lookism", more or less, it is pseudo-Afghanistanism.

The Role Of The Intelligentsia In Jump-Starting National Rebirth:

It is the accepted patriotic duty of the intelligentsia of any given civilised country to conceptualise, design, test run, and direct the fate of their country to greatness, through out history. After all, if nothing else, they were trained to think. From the Industrial Revolution, to the American Civil War, from the French Revolution, to the emergence of the "Asian Tigers", from the revolutionary struggles in Latin America, to the actualisation of the Information Age, from the military-industrial complexes of Brazil, to Silicon Valley in the US of A, members of the intelligentsia have always been at the centre of gravity, firmly in the driver’s seat, indeed, the avant-garde of national rebirth worldwide. Singapore, USA, Cuba, India, Holland, the UK, Taiwan, Italy, China, Korea, France, Japan, Brazil, Germany, Israel, and several others, became focused primarily due to the leading roles played by their intellectuals in effectively guiding the collective destiny of their respective nations.

Undeniably, a universal characteristic of Third World nations is the paucity, or even total absence of any meaningful inputs from a critical mass of their intelligentsia in the management of their affairs. Though it may be self-evident, this observation is neither trivial nor exaggerated. It is the root cause of under-achievement, system sub-optimality, warped values, and indeed, underdevelopment globally. Quite strangely and very painfully too, it is the reality throughout the continent of Africa, especially in Nigeria, where the intelligentsia remains permanently in a seeming state of suspended animation, and more or less, is effectively contained, and relegated to complete subservience, inconsequence, redundancy, and disdain.

The Locus Of Anti-Intellectualism In The Nigerian Decision-Making Status Quo:

With the exception of the Right Honourable Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe (who incidentally was only a ceremonial President, an oxymoron for a lame duck President), all other Presidents, and Heads of State of Nigeria to date were/are simply non-graduates. We will just disregard all those undocumented, unverifiable, and baseless hints about the so-called engineering background of the incumbent tenant of Aso Rock. The fact remains that he simply did not graduate from any known university on Planet Earth! We also must note that General (Dr.) Yakubu Gowon obtained his degrees only AFTER he had finished ruling Nigeria, more or less, with the opportunistic assistance of his graduate so-called "super permanent secretaries" for 9 years! To his credit, at least, he empowered them.

For those of us who may be tempted to regurgitate the now over-flogged and supremely stupid cliché about "paper qualifications", it should be abundantly clear by now that such arguments are farcical: Why? Because it does not require any serious effort to be a dropout or be an apologetic non-actualised self-justifying adult with a constrained educational experience, and the accompanying feelings of self-imposed inferiority complex! There is nothing to be proud about being academically challenged, or being educationally sub-normal, particularly in the prime of ones life.

Certainly, the mere possession of degrees and certificates do not confer any super-humanity on the possessor. Every mumu should know that fact. But then, any graduate can afford, if they so choose, to operate in the "illiterate" mode, but the reverse is not possible. Even the procurement of comical (mumuic) honorary degrees does not necessarily fool anybody. A mind devoid of proper grooming just cannot hide. At least, General (Dr.) Yakubu Gowon should be in a position to enlighten any such cynics, or even testify about the massive difference between his benign state of relative blissful naiveté prior to July 1967, and when he obtained what he and his fellow top officers of the Nigerian Army gleefully scorned prior to his overthrow: a BA degree, and even more, a PhD! There is no substitute for proper and solid education. Any individual, any society, any nation that underestimates the value of quality formal education risks descending to the level of social entropy in which Nigeria finds itself today.

The crux of our argument is simple. All observable negative attributes of Nigeria, including the so-called "Nigerian Factor", are ultimately attributable to one generalised cause: the anti-intellectual proclivities of its leadership to date, particularly the military political elite.

The Genesis Of Anti-Intellectualism In Nigeria:

From all indications, the palpable air of general anti-intellectualism that currently pervades Nigeria, the benign paternalism and sometimes undisguised contempt with which it treats its intelligentsia, started first, as a trickle during the nine years of General Yakubu Gowon’s autocracy (1966 ~ 1975), then to a climax under General Olusegun Obasanjo’s military dictatorship (1976 ~1980), and has more or less matured and become the norm today, even in a supposedly democratic setting.

The disgraceful collapse of Nigeria’s educational systems, and the entrapment of the collective ego of the Nigerian intelligentsia, including the hounding and imprisonment of university lecturers, the habit of mindlessly tampering with school curricula, primary and secondary schools management, changing of the school year, subjugating graduates to blatant humiliation of their self-esteem by being subordinated to the crudities and whims of semi-illiterate, and very assertively anti-intellectual lower ranking soldiers, all in the name of national service (NYSC), and the perennial sporadic closures of universities and other educational institutions, began in the 1970s. The military élite degraded and devalued education in Nigeria by their intrinsic anti-intellectual bearing.

A culture of anti-intellectualism was painstakingly ingrained into the collective consciousness of Nigerians over a period of 29 years, split into a first phase (Gowon-Mohammed-Obasanjo) of 13 uninterrupted years, and a second phase (Buhari-Babangida-Babangida/Shonekan-Abacha-Abubakar) of 16 uninterrupted years. In simple terms, for the 39 years of independence, as at 1999, soldiers in active service presided over the values, ethics, idiosyncrasies, norms, governance, and collective destiny of Nigerians for about 74% of the time. Observing that the incumbent civilian President is actually a retired four-star general, on permanent stand-by to be recalled to active service (at 65?, at least that is what we are made to believe is the rationale for the generous perks of retired officers and generals of the Nigerian Armed Forces), the cumulative number of years of impact of militaristic leadership, including the trickle-down effects of their world-view on Nigerians, amount to 32 years out of 42 years of independence, equivalent to about 76% of the time that Nigerians have been responsible for their collective destiny as a people. This fact is very significant, and is indeed, central to our argument.

The Nigerian military élite firmly planted the seeds of deep-rooted disgust for the intelligentsia, which has grown to full bloom over the past 30 years. It would therefore require a very determined effort to reverse the damage done so far to the Nigerian intelligentsia by the military. The irony of the situation is that the very architects, bastions, and flag bearers of that damage are still very much alive, and are still very active controlling decision-making at the highest levels of our national life even out of active service: Each one of them presided over the progressive and systematic ruination of our educational system, including the near-extinction of the intellectual class in Nigeria.

The questions we would like to pose now are:

Historical records of the Nigerian Army (4) show that quite a significant proportion of our so-called military elite actually came directly from very poor families, and are essentially of peasant background, despite the staggering wealth they may command now. In fact, Lord Fredrick Lugard is well known to have been instrumental to deliberately setting up a recruitment strategy that was specifically targeted at peasants, and designed to produce a quasi-party apparatus that would be very loyal and submissive to absentee British colonial rule. They were called Lord Lugard’s "Zombies".

Since the colonialists were interested in retaining the partnership and loyalty of their newly admitted "native" Nigerian foot soldiers, they were often sent to Europe for short-duration courses, specially designed to accommodate their relatively educationally challenged condition vis-à-vis their British peers, and given, upon their return, perquisites that rivalled those available to even better-educated Nigerians in the civil service, the clergy, academia, and other spheres of civilian life. In addition, of course, with the exit of the British military officers, their loyal native Nigerian successors had their turn too to play gulf, tennis, and squash, just like the British.

Lord Fredrick Lugard, when he set up the Royal West African Frontier Force, which later metamorphosed into the Nigerian Army, laid a solid foundation that was overtly anti-intellectual and racist. A loyal native Nigerian soldier in colonial times must be seen to despise his people, and whatever values they may hold dear, in order to prove his worth. Non-soldiers were to be seen as "bloody civilians" who they could match both in material and in pecuniary terms, despite the relative deficit in their formal education. There was a permanent state of acrimony, unjustifiable disdain, and seeming complete disgust for the values of the wider Nigerian civilian society by their soldier compatriots through out the duration of British colonisation and beyond, in Nigeria.

There is ample evidence to show that the colonial powers did indeed develop a military, which they used initially to occupy and contain their colonies, then in World War I and World War II, fought for causes outside their comprehension or direct interests, and lastly, in their terror campaigns against independence. The military was, and still is one of the most pervasive colonial legacies conferred on independent Nigeria.

Because the Nigerian military, during colonial times, consisted mainly of peasant recruits, it might explain the low level of professionalism in our armed forces. Furthermore, the colonial administration recruited and promoted according to ethnic and political concerns rather than on merit. Consequently, Nigerian soldiers are more inclined to manifest an odious and supercilious arrogance towards civilians, and other ethnic groups than a professional correctness.

Another reason for coups d’état might be sheer boredom in the barracks. The Nigerian Armed Forces have never been called upon to fight any foreign aggressor of the Nigerian state to date, and for the most part, there are no real external threats. Thus, impudence is sought in the political arena, and not in military command. The truth is that with the kind of army Nigeria had at independence and the vantage positions the armed forces took in the governance of the country shortly after, that for almost 30 years, the country was doomed to go through the observed cycle of deep-seated anti-intellectualism from its military nouveau élite. In addressing the problem of redesigning Nigeria, it is clear that the military, particularly retired senior officers of the Nigerian Armed Forces have usurped the leading role expected of the intelligentsia of any progressive nation, and ended Nigerian in a mess.

In 1998, Professor Soyinka brought the attention of Nigerians to certain very cogent issues. He gave very common examples of the downward slide of Nigeria under the guidance of its military élite. We will remind ourselves with just a few almost verbatim quotes from that lecture:

The paranoia about the "corporate existence" of the Nigerian state, irrational as it might appear to any objective observer, is real to the products of British colonial surrogate designs, our now retired generals. Essentially, the need for a national dialogue, including a meticulous redesigning of the Nigerian state, is just too academic, too turenci, too bukuru, too much girama for the military élite to swallow. It is therefore left for the intelligentsia of Nigeria, at home, abroad, and in the Diaspora, to seize the initiative, and lead the redesigning process, for the benefit of Nigeria and Nigerians, including the military élite.

Lessons From Intelligentsia Of Afghanistan:

Afghanistan is a convenient benchmark for us to learn a lesson or two. From the point of view of the damage done to its national psyche, the physical ruination of social, educational, political, religious, economic, industrial, and commercial, indeed, every other aspect of life, the country is rock bottom on any index of placement in the comity of nations on earth today. Afghanistan is like a worst-case scenario.

Afghanistan, like Nigeria, is a multi-ethnic, poor Third World country, characterised by several layers of paradox. Like Afghanistan, Nigeria has its fair share of local super-heroes (ethnic warlords, elder military veterans and Mujahideens, drug barons, and moneybags), vagrant militia, and theocratic tendencies. Because of protracted inter-ethnic animosities, coupled with the injection of large doses of religious smoke screens, Afghanistan progressively descended into a state of tyranny, then instability, and finally, chaos. There was complete breakdown of law and order in Afghanistan, and the country has paid very dearly for it.

Nigerian local super-heroes (ethnic champions, some of them, drug barons, others, treasury looters, and celebrated vulgarly rich 419ers), some of them, of the military élite, have, over the years, continued to mentor private thugs, and have been aiding and promoting covert and overt urban terrorism recklessly. Federal and State governments sponsor religious pilgrimages, and turn the venue of worship of the Head of State, State Governors, or Local Government Chairpersons into formal state functions.

For close to a quarter of a century, Afghanistan went through fighting back foreign intrusion into its internal affairs, in-fighting among the various ethnic nationalities, on attainment of independence from the foreign intruders, experienced the emergence of a pseudo-nationalist theocratic feudal military successor élite, followed by the final collapse of law and order by September 2001.

For close to half a century now, Nigerians have experienced a so-called military élite fraternising intimately with all manner of multinational business sharks and scam artists who routinely dabble into their county’s internal affairs, in-fighting among their various local super- military politicians since January 15, 1966, and experienced the emergence of a feudal indigenous neo-colonial cabal, dominated by the military élite.

However, Afghanistan is progressively rising again from its ashes, under the guidance of its intelligentsia. Since September 11, 2001, the intelligentsia of Afghanistan, particularly those of them overseas, and in the Diaspora, have shown remarkable initiative in effectively championing the re-birth of their country from the rubbles of devastation. In fact, the intelligentsia constitute the core of the Interim Government of Afghanistan today. In a similar situation in Nigeria in 1993, when both serving and retired members of the Nigerian military elite principally handpicked and imposed the membership, dictated the context and scope of the Interim National Government (ING) on Nigerians, rather patronisingly. We shall look at two (2) very different examples of the impact of the intelligentsia in Afghanistan: One, constructive and the other, destructive. First the destructive.

The Arab Veteran Mujahideens Of Afghanistan:

Egypt is locked in a war with several hundred veteran fundamentalist guerrillas from Afghanistan.(6) The main group is led by the brother of the fundamentalist army lieutenant who led the group that assassinated Egyptian President Anwar Sadat in 1981. The other key leader is Ayman Zawahiri. This group received direct support from U.S., British, French and Israeli intelligence agencies, during the period of Soviet occupation. The US valued the Mujahideens so much that it allowed Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman, the blind fundamentalist cleric, believed to have been involved in the conspiracy to assassinate Anwar Sadat, to enter the US of A, and set up shop in New Jersey. As has been the case in other proxy wars, the strident support of the Mujahideen by the US Government has led to some unsavoury backfire.

Mujahideen Ayman Zawahiri is the world's second-most-wanted person. He is a scion of one of Egypt's most respected families, a graduate of an exclusive preparatory school, a learned scholar, accomplished surgeon, and poet. Dr. (Mujahideen) Ayman Zawahiri once ran a flourishing medical clinic in a very affluent neighbourhood of grand villas and trendy art studios and galleries. This 50-year-old Egyptian medical practitioner is believed to be the most important aide of Osama bin Laden. He is even speculated as the next likely leader of the Al Qaeda terrorist network.

Zawahiri is a brilliant and forceful intellectual who provides much of the ideological and strategic grounding to Osama Bin Laden's war against the West, according to friends, family and terrorism experts. Dr. Zawahiri's terrorist record dates back more than 20 years. He faces a death sentence in Egypt stemming from his role as leader of the Egyptian Islamic Jihad. Mujahideen (Dr.) Zawahiri has been indicted as one of the key planners of the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. Interpol recently released a worldwide alert for his arrest. His long, slow rise illustrates the ideological evolution of Islamic fundamentalist struggle. Under his leadership, fundamentalist groups moved from attacking supposedly corrupt Arab governments to targeting civilians inside the US of A.

Dr. Ayman Zawahiri was born in Cairo in 1951 to a family of doctors and scholars (7, 8). His grandfather was a grand imam of one of the most important mosques in the Arab world. A great-uncle was the first Secretary-General of the Arab League. Another great-uncle is one of the leaders of an important opposition party in Egypt. Zawahiri opened a medical clinic in a Cairo suburb, once the location of choice for British civil servants during colonial times and now the centre of the American expatriate community. There he treated patients from some of Egypt's wealthiest families. Dr. Zawahiri left his clinic in 1985 to join the Red Crescent organization treating U.S.-backed guerrillas then battling the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan. Nobody in the family has heard from him since.

Apparently, it was in Afghanistan and Pakistan, working under very primitive conditions that he met Osama Bin Laden, who was then recruiting, organizing, and training guerrillas. Both men were wealthy; both were from famous families in their homelands; both had been educated at top private schools and universities.

It was in the late 1980s and early 1990s that Mujahideen (Dr.) Zawahiri apparently sharpened his vision of exporting and expanding the scope of terrorism globally. An influential London-based Saudi-owned newspaper claims that Zawahiri is to Bin Laden what the brain is to the body. He was able to reshape Osama Bin Laden's thinking and mentality and turn him from merely a supporter of the Afghan Jihad to a believer in, and an exporter of global Jihad.

Zawahiri was in Bosnia at one time to support Muslims in Yugoslavia. By the early 1990s, Dr. Ayman Zawahiri was in charge of the Egyptian Islamic Jihad, which had embarked on a ferocious campaign of terrorism against the Egyptian government. However, it was not until 1998 that Zawahiri leapt from the shadows, when he joined Al Qaeda. In 1999, Zawahiri was tried in absentia in Egypt for a variety of terrorist acts. His whereabouts are a mystery. Equally mysterious is whether he played any role in the September 11, 2001 attacks.

What a waste.

One Woman’s Personal Quest

Since 1960, women have been elected as their country’s leaders in Ireland, Britain, Israel, India, Pakistan, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Finland, Canada, Nicaragua, and the Philippines. Dr. Sima Samar is probably the most powerful woman in Afghanistan today. Ms. Sima Samar is the first minister of women's affairs in the history of Afghanistan. The men of Afghanistan celebrated her arrival; although, they left their wives and daughters safely at home, out of habit. One daunting challenge Dr. Sima Samar will face in the next few months, is getting women back into public life after years of being barred from it. Dr. Samar is renowned for her work in education, health, and human rights. When Afghanistan's interim government was inaugurated in December, there was no question that Samar deserved to be one of the two women in the cabinet, and the only female deputy prime minister.

Dr. Samar, a physician by profession, opened 4 hospitals, 10 clinics, and 48 schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan, often in defiance of the ban on the very presence of women on the job, or girls in the classroom by the Taliban (9). In a recent interview, she said she was concerned that women's issues could be given token treatment by the new government of Afghanistan. However, she said that she would not stay in the cabinet if she cannot make an impact. Four other government ministers, all of them Afghan professionals, returned from abroad.

Though the idea of a government ministry just for women may sound a little odd to Western ears, it is in part a recognition of the fact that some of the country's most urgent needs boil down to women's needs. Before the Taliban seized control of the country five years ago, about 30 % of the nation's civil servants and 70 % of its teachers were women. Now, it is hard to find a woman working in virtually any government office, except Dr. Samar and Health Minister, Dr. Suhaila Siddiqa, also a physician. Taliban officials, who often sent their wives to them for treatment, tolerated both women.

After finishing school in Kabul in 1982, she fled the violence between the Mujahideen and the Soviet Union, moving to Pakistan. In 1989, she founded her first hospital for women, many of them Afghan refugees ignored by Pakistani authorities. It later expanded into a network of clinics and schools on both sides of the border. Though her work and outspokenness sometimes earned her death threats, she carried on with composure. Dr. Samar's concern now is that untold numbers of educated women fled the country, not just during the oppressive Taliban regime, but also in the years before.

Her priorities include organizing literacy classes, returning skilled women to the workforce, and getting homeless women into shelters. Because of her impact on the women of Afghanistan, local and international women's groups, as well as the UN, say that after the interim period, at least 30% of the 700 seats should go to women.

Such has been the very vital contribution by a woman from the intelligentsia of Afghanistan. A role model indeed.

A Breaking News Digression & Flash Forward:

The globally acknowledged adepts of the art, culture, and science of coups d’état in modern history are the military élite of Central and South America, the traditional "sphere of influence" of the champion of "the rule of law", "good governance" and "democracy", the US of A. For over a century, Latin American soldiers indulged freely in destabilising their respective countries at minimum provocation, with alarming frequency, generally transforming their entire continent to a self-contained galaxy of banana republics. Ironically, they constituted the role models of trainee practitioners of coup plotting and intrigue management of most underdeveloped countries, particularly Nigeria. Our own former apprentice coup-plotters, now elder statesmen, meticulously studied and mimicked their methods and idiosyncrasies almost to the letter (e.g. the wearing of dark glasses; drug peddling; patriotism-ranting despots; leadership recycling propensities; siren-blasting and full-beam headlights blaring convoys; flamboyant and wayward First Ladies; firing squads; self-succession; counter-coups; wearing of berets; retired soldier war-lords; naked corruption and massive treasury looting; coup plotting cliques; etc). Indeed one former Nigerian junta leader, IBB, actually commissioned scholarly prototype studies of past Latin American coup-plotting gurus to enable him effectively "re-engineer" Nigeria, and fashion out a hassle-free self-succession project.

Just recently, the news of yet another coup d’état in Venezuela jarred the airwaves. From all indications, that treasonable act was carried out by a splinter group of elder coup addicts (senior officers and generals) of the Venezuelan Armed Forces, habituated to a culture of impunity. Their target was an ex-soldier, now democratically elected civilian President Chevez, himself a failed coup plotter while he was still in the Venezuelan Army. As usual, the senior officers and generals of the Venezuelan Army struck, well armed with bogus excuses for their illegality. This time around, they were not satisfied with the appointment of the chief executive of the state-owned oil company, PDVSA. Maybe, the President should have consulted them in the spirit of esprit de corps. Ad so, they struck in order to "salvage their great country from collapse". And as if by divine choreography, the champion of "good governance" and "democracy worldwide", in whose exclusive "sphere of political interest" Venezuela happens to be, jumped the gun, and without delay, blazed the trail for inter national support that was crucial for the coup-plotting generals and their nascent subjects, the citizens of Venezuela. The coup failed. The price of crude oil spiked. Everything else is now history!

We hope the citizens of Nigerian, whether civilian or military (serving or retired) note the very interesting coincidences, similarities, déjà vu, and possibilities in the Venezuelan saga: i.e. a civilian former coup-plotter President; relapsing coup-plotting syndrome of the military élite; pro-democracy anti-upper echelon soldiers; pro-coup civilian praise-singers, later turned pro- Chevez sycophants; the tacit support of assumedly "now out-of-fashion" coups d’état, coupled with the manipulation of opinion in the "international community" by the champion of democracy; the farce of threats against disloyalty to anti-democratic superior authority; and the power of the Venezuelan people to choose whomsoever they want to rule them, guns or no guns.

The question is: Can the Venezuelan scenario play itself out in Nigeria given the passivity of the country’s civilian and military intelligentsia?

Conclusion:

The examples from Afghanistan (and of recent, Venezuela) teach us a few lessons. The intelligentsia of a severely traumatised country like Nigeria may interpret their acceptance of the challenge to rescue their country from internal and/or external threats by taking either creative or destructive actions. Given their political, social, and economic orientation, coupled with their intellectual capacity, global exposure, and worldview, their potential to do good or harm is tremendous. Because of the frightening immensity of their destructive potential, the creativity of the intelligentsia must be channelled to the ultimate benefit of their country.

It is the function of universities to provide the intellectual context for the formulation of national policy and ideas for the development of any nation. .Nigerian universities must take over the role of coordinating creative ideas for objectively deliberating on such problematic issues as Land Use Decree, Zoning, efficient power, telecommunications, transport, and knowledge base infrastructure, devolution of power, national symbols, economic strategy, reliable census figures, corruption, resource control, religious coexistence, and urban terrorism in Nigeria. Ideally, such deliberations by the intelligentsia should provide workable concepts or inputs for legislators to enable them prepare bills for debates at the National Assembly. It is also expected that the National Assembly would also deliberate on the issues with appropriate guidelines provided by the intelligentsia.

Universities exist primarily for the development and effective articulation of workable intellectual ideas for meaningful national development, not academic pseudo-Afghanistanism. It would be to the immense benefit of Nigeria if the intelligentsia in the country follow the pioneering example of the University of Lagos.

Glossary Of Terms:

Afghanistanism: (pronounced, àf-gà-nì-stá-nî-zïm) is an oxymoronic neologism in Nigerianese that means "an escapist resort to diversionary preoccupation with trivia in dire situations that demand absolute seriousness".

Búkúrú: (pronounced, bú-kú-rú) is Rotten English for "academic" or "book work" or "book".

Gìrámà: (pronounced, gì-rá-mà) is Rotten English for "grammar" or "Túréncí" in Hausa. It also connotes "búkúrú" in Rotten English.

Mumu: (pronounced, mùù-múú) is a noun whose plural form is mumu. It means "moron", idiot, fool, or imbecile" in Rotten English. Mumu is the adjective, while mumuic or like mumu is the adverb. Mumurity is the abstract noun. Alternative words for mumu are múgù and sùègbè. Mumu is derived from the onomatopoeic expression for the sounds made by goats, sheep and cows (i.e. "moo-moo"), traditionally assumed to be the stupidest of all domestic animals, south of the Sahara Desert. Fools are figuratively referred to as goats, or sheep, or cows or simply mumu.

A neologism is a new word or phrase that is coined from existing or non-existing words (e.g. "punk rock", "CD", "decertification", "white garment churches", "Area Boy Diplomacy", " "cyber-café ", "419", "petro-naira", "forex", "GSM", "e-commerce", "globalisation", "debit card", "liberalisation", "pro-democracy", "baby-friendly hospital", "ówàmbè", "Ghana Must-Go (GMG)", "Taiwan", "Belgium", and "Option A-4"). Indeed, neologisms are often oxymoronic.

Nigerianese: (pronounced, nài-jé-ryà-néz) is a neologism for "Nigerian English". Nigerianese is to the Federal Republic of Nigeria what American English is to the United States of America.

Oxymoron: (pronounced, äk-si-'mOrän) is a noun whose plural form is oxymora. An Oxymoron is a figure of speech that means "a combination of contradictory or incongruous words". It is derived from the Greek for, "pointedly foolish". Oxymoronic is the adjective, while oxymoronically is the adverb. Examples of oxymora include phrases like, "parallel market", "Sovereign National Conference", "secret cult", "market women", "the masses", "satellite TV", "Global Village", "South-South", "leaders of tomorrow", "born to rule", "postgraduate student", "half empty", "synchro system", "Operation Feed the Nation", "hidden agenda", "chosen few", "immediate past", "God sent", "high rise flats", "relatively free and fair elections", "export free zone", "shock therapy", "silent majority", "mass transit", "born again", "e-mail", "housewife", "son of the soil", "showers of blessings", "open door policy", "nascent democracy", "maximum ruler", and "Zero Sum Games". Typically, an oxymoron starts as jargon, then assumes the identity of a neologism, and finally matures as a fully accepted oxymoron in its own right.

Òyìbó: (pronounced, Ò-yì-bó) is Rotten English for "Caucasian", or "European", or "fair-skinned", or "Whiteman", or "albino", or "white-skinned persons", or "albinoid". Also, depending on the location in Nigeria, variously used as "Ònyìnbó", "Òyìmbó", or "Ònyìmbó". "Òyìbó pépè (literally, "White pepper") is the well-known nursery rhyme, sang by rural children and urban street urchins in several parts of the Niger Delta, for welcoming august European visitors and albinos.

Si’do’n-Lookism: (pronounced, sì-dón-lú-kí-zìm) Derived from the Rotten English, "Si’ do’n look", or in long form, "Sit down look", which in Queen’s English is literally, "Sit down and look", a metaphor for "premeditated complacency or intense nonchalance". "Si’ do’n look" or "Siddon look" is a political neologism that late Chief Bola Ige (SAN) popularized as a survival strategy during the dictatorship of late General Sani Abacha (GCFR) in late 20th century Nigeria. "Si’do’n-Lookism" is a rather passive form of -Afghanistanism. It is approximately the same as pseudo-Afghanistanism.

Túréncí: (pronounced, tú-rén-chí) is Hausa for "English", or "Caucasian", or "Òyìbó" in Rotten English.

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